Sparkles and Spit

Ryan Leech = Awesome

2009-03-16T11:26:00.001-04:00

Anyone out there?

2009-02-18T14:36:00.016-05:00

It's late in the afternoon. I'm procrastinating. My sister's class was recently at sparklesandspit (why did I call it that?) and so the address is in my internet history. I've clicked on every other link so I clicked this one too. I signed in. And now ... a post.

Maybe even a rebirth.

I'm not going to make excuses for my hiatus, but I will fill you in on some of the happenings of the past year as they pertain to bikes. It's February Blahs season, so may as well stoke the fire a little bit

A few posts down I introduced the "fun bike". I remember when it was shiny and new as pictured, but now it is mostly covered in dirt. Even though it's winter and it's just been sitting on the rack mostly. Cleaning that bike is one of the things I've been meaning to get around to since October. Oh where does the time go? 2008 is the year I learned to jump. I'm still a total novice and get stoked just clearing the tables so don't expect reports of any great feats. A tail whip may not be in my future and I'm okay with that. But what the bike has enabled is a whole new level of confidence for cross country -- cornering, handling, and balance are all noticeably improved. Plus, since it's a single speed with flat pedals, I've unlocked a few secrets about momentum too. But it's not all fun and games -- I also got my first-ever stitches in 08. Nine of em, in the shin. Really, I was probably due for some anyway. Gotta pay to play, so they say.

photo cred: Monk

So cross country! 09 race season is only a few short months away. Still waiting for my weapon: a Trek Top Fuel 9.8 WSD. I've got great ambitions to take it on the road (as in travel) to get comfy in as little time as possible. I'll also try and arrange for a proper fit with Steve Neal Performance. I met with Peter Glassford in December and while I can't afford to call him my coach, he's been kind enough to respond to email questions and we also had a long meeting to start things off on the right track. The main thing I took away from our chat? Vegetables. Eat your veggies!! Of course, I gleaned some other tidbits as well but those I'll keep to myself. You know, in the spirit of competition.

2008 I also made my first attempt at Downhill. I was at Mont Ste Anne for the World Cup as a spectator and in the rainy days leading up to the race, I got in some wicked runs. Man is it addictive. Mountain biking without climbing!! I was most blown away by the tires. Traction was a completely different story from what I'm used to. Even though it was wet and sloppy, I stuck to almost everything (except the ladder bridge where I hit the back brake. Idiot.) Gotta be careful or I'll end up on a big bike. It was highly addictive (and expensive) and let's face it: that's where the real glamour of the sport is. Those are the guys and gals in the magazines. They're the ones filming all the time. That said, the XC race on the Sunday looked so gnarly. There's masochism and then there's masochism. In DH, the race lasts 5 minutes and if you don't fall, it's just a gruelling five minutes. In XC, the race lasts approximately 2 hours. And you know you're going to be in pain for every single second. And then usually for the afternoon and the day following, too.

You know, sometimes I think about all the time and money I'd save if I just gave up bikes entirely. But that train of thought usually leads to ideas about what gear I'd buy with the spare cash, and where I'd ride with all the free time. Which is basically back where I started, so I guess I'll just keep on keeping on.

Anyway, hello from oblivion.

Rubber side down.

KL

Palindromes

2008-04-10T09:22:00.002-04:00

Ever heard of a palindrome? You probably have, but maybe didn't know its name. Palindrome is a word or phrase spelt the same forwards and backwards.

Like NOON (Which is also the same upside down, to add to the awesomeness)
LEVEL
CIVIC
ROTOR

etc etc.

Then you can get into whole phrases, like

A man, a plan, a canal, Panama.
Al lets Della call Ed Stella.
Dammit, I'm Mad.
Do geese see god?
Golf? No sir, prefer prison flog.

Or this, possibly the longest palindrome EVER.

okay ... what??

2008-03-13T12:18:00.001-04:00

Bear convicted of stealing honey
Mar 13, 2008 10:37 AM Reuters

SKOPJE – A Macedonian court convicted a bear of theft and damage for stealing honey from a beekeeper who fought off the attacks with thumping "turbo-folk" music.
"I tried to distract the bear with lights and music because I heard bears are afraid of that," Zoran Kiseloski told top-selling daily Dnevnik after the yearlong case of the bear versus the beekeeper ended in the beekeeper's favour.
"So I bought a generator, lit up the area and put on songs of (Serbian "turbo-folk" star) Ceca."
The bear stayed away for a few weeks, but came back when the generator ran out of power and the music fell silent, Kiseloski said, adding, "it attacked the beehives again."
A court in the city of Bitola found the bear guilty, and since it had no owner and belonged to a protected species, ordered the state to pay the 140,000 denars ($3,500 U.S.) damage it caused to the hives.
There was no information on the whereabouts of the bear.

Look what I got!

2008-03-12T15:40:00.004-04:00

2008 Giant STP SS

On its way across the pond, the newest addition to my stable ...

SO Excited.

THANKS SWEET PETE'S!

http://www.giant-bicycles.com/en-CA/bikes/mountain/1749/30731/zoom/

An Update

2008-01-30T13:34:00.000-05:00

Been awhile since I posted -- I tell you, I think facebook is the scourge of the internet -- and I remain hopelessly addicted. I have become lazy in my blogging because it is so much easier to just upload some photos, change up my status updates and creep on people's walls than to acutally sit down and write something. And this is the problem with our hectic, "just-in-time" lives. No room to just sit down and think, or reflect or even stay in touch ... at least not with flesh and blood people.

So here's an idea of what's been going on with me -- for anyone still checking in. Not the same as having a cup of coffee, but until we get together for that coffee, this'll do.

Freshest in my mind is the ski trip I just finished. A few of us from Ontario headed out to Alberta and BC to meet up with a friend of mine there. We skied at Kimberley first which is I think one of those hidden gems you're bound to hear more about as more people discover the secret. We had amazing snow there and then to top it off, it dumped all night for us before our last day of skiing. What's better than floating through the powder, legs on fire, joining in the whoops across the mountain? Especially when yours are the only tracks in sight.

After a couple days in such decadent conditions, we relocated to Lake Louise, AB for some days in the sun on the slopes. Sadly, with sun comes clear skis and with clear skis, comes old snow. But just the same, it was way better than Ontario (I compared as soon as I got back with a trip up to Blue Mountain) and way BIGGER than Ontario as well. And of course, size matters.

So after that escape from reality ... largely enabled by my Aunt, thank you VERY much! ... it is back to work and back to training of course.

This season will be another challenging handful of races. But at least I will know a little more of what to expect from the "big dog" category and I will also be blessedly looming-election free. So outside stress shouldn't be as big a factor this summer. Coach Joe and I have been working hard to line up the off season and though I am still bucking a little to regain my focus, I am starting to see real gains in tone and strength, and I also joined a spinning group at RPM in Toronto which gets me out in a group twice a week doing drills I would never have the discipline to do on a trainer.

Strength training has been added to the regime as well and a trip to the gym is always an adventure in meat-marketing. I am approached without fail by a roided-out gym-rat on every visit. Plus, it seems everyone knows how to do my workout but me. Why is it that no one ever comes up to you in the gym and says "wow, so that's how it's done! Thank god you and your perfect form showed up to educate me today." No no no. It's always "you should this" or "you need that". Sigh. Anyway, despite my apparent shortfallings on proper form *hooey!* I'm doing fine and I walk around all the time with the gentle hum of recovering muscles.

First race is at the end of April ... I can't believe how fast this winter is slipping away. I know for you snow shovelers it seems endless, but for we athletes ... well let's just say I'm starting to feel a little anxious. I was planning to attend training camp as per usual, but will have to make do without this season. Sad to say the least but hopefully I'll find solace in the money I'll save and the vacation time I can use later to visit the WC at Mont Ste Anne later this summer. Or the cottage.

Anyway, at this point in the off-season, I'm feeling good. I'm having fun with my training, and throwing in the odd ski adventure is keeping things interesting as well. Should be a good summer!

Beyond training, things are just chugging along. I'm reading "Eat Pray Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert at the moment ... and I think everyone is. I kept seeing it everywhere and people kept telling me I should pick it up, so I did and I'm loving it. Hopefully Oprah doesn't get her hands on it. But you should.

At the movies, I have seen Cloverfield and Kiterunner most recently. Cloverfield was entertaining, watch it. Kiterunner was really good too ... watch it and read the book.

So I think that's all I have time for today ... but I hope all my faithful readers are well in the world and best of luck to Bruce County, where the roads are closed the snow is blowing ... as per usual.

Stay safe and Have fun!

A duck walks into a pub ...

2008-01-11T16:41:00.000-05:00

A duck walks into a pub and sits himself down on a stool by the bar. "Pint of bitter please," says the duck to the barman.

"Certainly sir," the barman says, pouring up the pint. "Pardon me for saying so," he adds, "but we don't often get talking ducks in here..."

"Well, I don't usually come out at lunchtimes, our bosses don't like us drinking during our lunch hour," replies the duck.

"Oh, where do you work then?" asks the barman.

"At the pharmaceutical R&D place down the road," the duck replies. "Not for much longer, though. I've just found out I'm being made redundant next year. That's why I've come out for a drink."

"I'm sorry to hear that," says the barman.

"Yes," says the duck, "it's going to be tough to find work in the current climate. I don't know what I'm going to do."

"Well," says the barman, "I could always have a word with my brother. Talking ducks are very unusual. My brother runs a circus, and I'm sure he could find some work for a duck like you."

"That's very good of you," says the duck, "but why on earth would your brother's circus need an NMR spectroscopist?"

The "News" today ...

2007-12-19T10:00:00.000-05:00

I cut and pasted this from the Star today ... the top five most read stories ... more spawn of Spears and rowdy university lads . plus horoscopes of course which everyone bashes but which also make the top five every day, I've noticed.

What a fluffy day!

On Painting ...

2007-12-10T10:17:00.001-05:00

I recently came to my senses regarding the rent I pay in my fancy one-bedroom downtown ... and am therefore moving post-haste. One of the extra chores I concocted to make more work for myself includes painting in my new room. I've decided on "Inukshuk" which is one of those neutral colours that are so hot right now.

I picked up my paint and supplies from Dudley's hardware at Church and Wellesley including:

- 2 gallons of Benjamin Moore "Inukshuk" in pearl finish (CC-460 from the "designer classics" palette)
- 1 nylon paintbrush
- 1 edger
- 1 roller
- 1 tray
- 1 stir stick
- 1 roll of painter's tape

By 4:30 I was ready to get going on my project. I vastly underestimated the pain in the ass painting is. This is only my second project and the project before was heavily supervised and also more than 5 years ago.

I am very thankful to the man at Dudley's who guided me through a strategy. First, I taped up all the baseboards, fixtures and doorframes. That took me a long time. The next step was to put two coats of paint on all the places walls join walls, walls join ceilings, all the edges etc etc. In a square room, this would be no sweat. But my room is ... complicated. It is on the third floor of an old house. So sometimes, the walls are walls, but sometimes they slope into the ceiling. So not only am I painting the walls, but I'm also painting the ceiling.

Once all the edges are done, then I can get going with the roller. I am praying that at that point, the job will go a little faster. Saturday I left after 6 hours on the job and I haven't even got the second coat of trimming done.

I don't know when I'll have the time to pack! Moving day is coming up fast ...

Canadian athletes to be paid for Olympic medals

2007-11-19T13:07:00.000-05:00

I was so glad to read this in today's paper!! I think Canada is long overdue in properly honouring and supporting our athletes (which is why so often we lose them to other nations, most notably the United States). This is a great great step forward.

Nov 19, 2007 09:12 AM THE CANADIAN PRESS

OTTAWA – For the first time, Canada's athletes will be paid for winning medals at Olympic games.

Athletes will receive up to $20,000 per medal at the Games.

The Canadian Olympic Committee says the athlete support and reward program is a way to compensate high-performance athletes for the financial burdens they often face while training for Olympic Games.

The committee says gold medals will garner the higher amount, while silver medal winners will be paid $15,000 and bronze medal winners $10,000.
The performance awards will apply to all Olympic sports, and will be the same whether athletes are in a team or individual sport.

The first athletes to qualify for the awards will compete in Beijing next year.

The Ride To Conquer Cancer

2007-10-24T16:53:00.000-04:00

www.conquercancer.ca

The Ride to Conquer Cancer is a two-day, 200km cycling challenge benefiting Princess Margaret Hospital. From June 21—22, Dad and I will ride from Toronto to Niagara Falls to support the fight against cancer.

I first heard of cancer when I was just a little girl, and it was hard to understand — it seemed to me then that people who get sick ought to get better. But my Grandma was sick for as long as I knew her. She was the toughest woman I’ve known and I will always remember her for her grace and strength. I dedicate this journey to her memory and all who are courageously facing cancer now, particularly my Grandpa, and my Aunt.

As cancer affects more and more of us and our loved ones, it is more important than ever to work together to stop it.

Please contribute to this history-making event with a donation. Funds raised in The Ride to Conquer Cancer will support breakthrough research, exemplary teaching, and compassionate care at Princess Margaret Hospital, Canada’s leading cancer research hospital.

Thank you in advance for your help!

McGuinty best to lead Ontario

2007-10-03T10:24:00.000-04:00

TORONTO STAR EDITORIAL
Oct 03, 2007 04:30 AM

Despite all the complaints about how the Ontario election has been devoid of issues and passion, the fact is that over the last four weeks, Dalton McGuinty, John Tory and Howard Hampton have delivered a well-defined campaign with dramatically different visions of where they want to lead this province and that offers a real choice for voters when they go to the polls next Wednesday.

McGuinty has presented himself and his Liberal party as the ones who, since taking office in 2003, have made great strides toward rebuilding crucial public services that the Conservatives eviscerated during eight years of divisive government.

Tory has presented himself as a decent, thoughtful and genuinely progressive Conservative who cares about disadvantaged people. And Hampton has shown his New Democratic Party is still a strong voice on poverty and environmental issues, although they fall short on explaining how they would pay for all their promises.
Having studied all their platforms and listened closely to their arguments, we firmly endorse McGuinty and the Liberals as the best choice to lead Ontario for the next four years.

We make this endorsement based on the Liberals' record , especially on education, health care and social programs, their economic stewardship and their strong platform for the future.

In his four years as premier, McGuinty and his government have restored resources and stability to public schools, hired thousands of new nurses and cut wait times for key medical procedures. He also has made a credible start toward reducing poverty in Ontario. McGuinty has accomplished all this while at the same time eradicating a massive $5.6 billion deficit he inherited from the Conservatives.

Just as important, McGuinty has restored to Ontario a sense of common purpose and inclusiveness, fundamental Canadian values that were ignored during years of damaging Conservative cuts.

At the start of the campaign, the Star highlighted six issues the province needs to address. Each leader has proposals on all of them. However, McGuinty has consistently advanced the most forward-looking, realistic plan for improving the public services that Ontarians rely on.

Poverty: McGuinty made a bold commitment this week that should drive real progress on the poverty front when he pledged to set out firm poverty reduction targets and to make his government accountable for meeting them. Adding to the two main anti-poverty initiatives in the last budget – the new child benefit and the phase-in of a $10.25 minimum wage by 2010 – concrete targets will oblige the government to introduce new policies and measures to fight poverty,
Cities: The best way for Queen's Park to help cities would be to upload the costs of major provincial programs imposed on them almost a decade ago. All three leaders promise to take action once a special task force completes its review of downloading next year, but McGuinty has already moved on one front by uploading costs now incurred by cities for drug benefit and disability support programs.
Health care: Over the next four years McGuinty would raise annual spending on health care by $8.7 billion with the aim of further reducing wait times and investing more in home care and long-term care. While Tory and Hampton have made similar pledges, Tory would also open the door wider to private health care by allowing more private clinics to operate across the province.
Education: On one of the most divisive issues in the campaign, Tory wants to use some of the available government money to extend public funding to faith-based schools. By contrast, the Liberals and NDP are proposing more ambitious agendas to bolster public education, including extending junior and senior kindergarten to full days.
Environment: The Liberals are offering a realistic platform to close coal-fired power plants by 2014, refurbish nuclear stations and boost energy conservation and renewable energy sources. They also are considering expanding the Golden Horseshoe greenbelt.
Economy: While offering some help to traditional industries, notably the auto sector, that face increasingly stiff foreign competition, the Liberals have created a forward-looking economic game plan that focuses on higher education and the next generation of jobs in areas such as biotechnology, communications and green technology.
Party policy aside, for many voters the key issue is leadership.

Indeed, Tory has made the slogan "leadership matters" a cornerstone of his campaign. He claims McGuinty lacks leadership, citing a string of "broken promises."
And true, McGuinty failed to do everything he say he would, but we believe he should be judged on the promises he did deliver on, which were considerable, given the mess he inherited from the former Conservative government.
It is true that Tory has proved himself a capable party leader who has worked hard to steer the Conservatives away from Mike Harris's Common Sense Revolution and back toward the party's Bill Davis-era progressive roots. And many voters seem comfortable with Tory's personality and his compassion for the most vulnerable in society.
But Tory's political leadership skills are questionable. In fact, in this campaign, he has emerged as a divisive, wavering leader.
Despite promising a positive campaign, Tory unleashed negative attack ads aimed at linking McGuinty with violent crime in Toronto.
Despite vowing support for public health care, he is courting controversy by supporting more private health care.
Also, Tory's fiscal plan lacks credibility. He has pledged to axe the $2.6 billion-a-year health tax that McGuinty imposed in 2004, at the same time as promising $14.1 billion in higher spending on services. His projections of a balanced budget are based on extremely rosy predictions for revenue growth. He claims he could find $1.4 billion in "savings and efficiencies," but offers no proposals for doing so.
And his ill-advised pledge to extend public funding to non-Catholic religious schools has split Ontarians deeply. Smelling trouble at the ballot box, Tory made a desperation move Monday to save his campaign by promising to hold a free vote on faith-based school funding in the Legislature if elected. Such frantic, last-minute decision-making is not a mark of an experienced political leader.
For all these reasons, the Star believes Dalton McGuinty and the Liberals deserve a second mandate in next Wednesday's election

Lies, damned lies and debates

2007-09-22T10:11:00.000-04:00

Candidates will say the darndest things under the klieg lights. Our columnist with a reality check

Sep 22, 2007 04:30 AM

Ian Urquhart

Queen's Park columnist

There was a lot of truth-stretching during this week's televised leaders' debate in the provincial election campaign.In an attempt to gain a political advantage, each of the three party leaders embellished his own record and/or denigrated his opponents' with a combination of dubious facts and claims.

Here's a summary of some of what was said in the debate and the background reality:

Premier Dalton McGuinty

Re: labour peace in the schools: "During the course of the past four years, something unprecedented to my knowledge happened in Ontario: not a single child lost a single leaning day ... because of (a) work stoppage."

As the opposition parties were quick to point out, 8,000 elementary school students in North Bay lost a week of school last year due to a teachers' strike.

Re: Conservative Leader John Tory's proposal to extend public funding to private religious schools: "You are inviting Hindu kids to leave public schools and go to a separate tent."

Not exactly. Tory is proposing to bring those Hindu (or Muslim or Jewish or Christian) kids who are now attending private religious schools – some 50,000 in all – into the public tent by providing their schools with public funding. In exchange, the schools would have to meet certain conditions on faculty and curriculum. Of course, it can be argued that the very offer of funding would entice more parents to take their kids out of existing public schools and put them in the religious schools.

Conservative Leader, John Tory

Re: crime: "Seven out of 10 people accused of murder in Toronto last year were out on bail or probation at the time they were arrested ... Mr. McGuinty said he would deliver a safer Ontario. He hasn't. He hasn't fixed the justice system. It is under his watch that the crown attorneys have been agreeing to these bail deals, these plea bargaining deals and these sentencing deals that allow the criminals to thumb their noses at the rest of us."

The seven-out-of-10 figure comes from a newspaper story that appeared in the fall of 2006. According to government statistics for the full calendar year, less than half of those charged with murder in Toronto were out on bail or probation at the time of their arrest.

Furthermore, parole is a federal responsibility for those charged with serious crimes. As for bail, the McGuinty government has instructed crown attorneys to oppose it in gun-crime cases. The Conservatives say those instructions aren't tough enough. But in the final analysis, a judge – not the crown attorney – makes the decision whether to grant bail. The McGuinty government has pressed for a "reverse onus" law to make bail more difficult in serious cases, but that, too, is a federal responsibility.

Re: The McGuinty government's alleged failures on the transit file: "They (the public) are still driving their cars. They drive by the GO stations because there is no parking there, because you (McGuinty) haven't bothered to do anything about that in four years."

The Liberals say some 6,000 more parking spaces have been added at GO stations during their term. The Conservatives say that McGuinty promised to add at least 35,000 more spaces and has fallen well short of that goal.

Re: The province's electricity shortage: "You (McGuinty) spent four years during which you really didn't address this issue."

As McGuinty himself pointed out in the debate, some 3,000 megawatts of power – more than 10 per cent of capacity – have been added during his time in office.

NDP Leader Howard Hampton

Re: Education funding: "Mr. McGuinty says that his government has put (more than) $3 billion in(to) our public school system. In fact, that's just not the case, and much of the money that the McGuinty government has put into our schools has, in fact, gone to the government's pet projects."

Budget papers show that government spending has increased by exactly $3 billion in the McGuinty years, and that amount was topped up with another $182 million in August.
As for "pet projects," these include lower class sizes, more art and music teachers, more teachers focused on at-risk youth, and more books for libraries and classrooms.

Re: Liberal claims that they have invested an additional $6.2 billion in post-secondary education. "Only about $1 billion has flowed to universities and colleges. They're still struggling."

Budget papers show $5 billion of that $6.2 billion commitment has already been allocated to universities and colleges.

Re: McGuinty's salary: "Your priority over the last seven months was to give yourself a $40,000 pay raise."

Yes, McGuinty got a pay hike of about $40,000 last year, but it was part of an overall increase in MPPs' salaries, which had fallen badly behind not only the private sector but also other political pay packages.

City councillors in Toronto, Mississauga and Brampton, for example, were making more than MPPs, backbenchers in Ottawa more than cabinet ministers at Queen's Park, and the mayors of Toronto, Mississauga and Brampton more than the premier.

The pay hike was recommended by the integrity commissioner – an independent official – and was approved not by McGuinty himself but by the Legislature. Hampton and several of his NDP colleagues voted against it, but the vote was skipped by two NDP members who privately agreed with the pay hike.

Meeeeowww.

2007-09-17T20:11:00.000-04:00

John Tory in pictures

2007-09-07T14:59:00.000-04:00

Buskers 2007 Ayanakai Fire Show

2007-08-26T10:31:00.001-04:00

Takes a second to get going but this is the coolest show I saw at the Toronto Buskerfest. If you haven't been down yet I think today's your last chance, but to see Ayanakai, you'll have to wait til next year.

Thanks to Glenn, Amanda and Brent for a great evening!

Cheers,
KL

Dalton McGuinty: Liberals Working

2007-08-14T08:43:00.001-04:00

Happy Friday

2007-07-06T10:43:00.000-04:00

What a great day so far. So great in fact I'll even blog about it. I started things off with a little sleep in. I actually set the alarm daringly late, as opposed to just snoozing that long and the difference is remarkable. So then I had breakfast and what a nice treat, I actually had food in the house for breakfast so that was a nice change.

Then I toured the internet, looked at photos and stuff on facebook, checked the weather and my finances (both sunny) and then hopped in the shower.

My lazy pace got me downstairs to the lobby for 9am where to my surprise, my building's staff were waiting with coffee, bagels, muffins and donuts. and they were smiling about it too. Good ol' Jazz. That meant that for my sunny walk to work, (ipod in place, good hair day) my hands were each full and I had no choice but to ignore my buzzing blackberry. shucks. And since I couldn't spare a hand to skip songs, I actually discovered a couple I didn't even know I had ... like what's John Mayer doing there? But even John Mayer, who I usually make fun of, was a welcome soundtrack this morning. There was also Phil Collins and Elton John, each singing disney tracks --- note to self: revise playlists.

My neighbourhood just gets better and better because ladies and gentlemen, I finally found a video store within 5 minutes of my house. Tucked away on Mutual, right beside the grocery store is Mr. Movie. and Thank God for Mr. Movie. Until I found Mr. Movie, every time I wanted to watch something, I'd have to buy it from the HMV or else walk 30 minutes each way up to the Village. So I was just thrilled to finally have found the neighbourhood rental place. I got my first DVD last night -- Catch and Release with Jennifer Garner. It was set in Boulder Colorado and now I really want to go there.

So now I'm at work, thinking about le tour, Boulder, and about to have lunch with a friend. This weekend is the Buckwallow race, which I am very excited for. Stay tuned for updates there.

Happy Friday!

Le Tour (Bike Race) to la tour (Eiffel Tower)

2007-07-06T10:17:00.000-04:00

So the Tour begins tomorrow! Who's excited?! Sadly, I haven't got cable except in my office ... but where my OLN channel is supposed to be, I have close captioned coverage of the press gallery's media studio. Woo-hoo. Or boo hoo rather. So I will be watching live updates at the tour's website. For those of you who don't follow cycling, I hope you give the tour a try this season. I think we're going to see some real honest racing, some real suffering and glory as the sport of cycling continues to weed out the baddies and the clean athletes prevail. I'm of course referring to the unfortunate practice of doping (in fact, I believe last year's winner gets his verdict today ... stay tuned). Doctors claim they aren't helping athletes to cheat -- only to survive. Enthusiasts throw out the idea that maybe there should be a whole genre of "sport" that includes doping -- afterall, it could be considered a technological advantage, just like the bike you ride, or the fabric your jersey is made of. I am a staunch believer in using what god gave ya so I continue to watch for the tell tale signs of clean athletes. You can tell by the pain in their faces and the emotion at the end. If you win a stage in the Tour de France, you should be up there mixing tears with Champagne and kissing the podium girls ... Not smiling politely and accepting a paycheque like its just a job.

SO! Bring on the tears! Bring on the sweat! Ain't July great?!

PS - here's an article from the Star that sums things up for first-time spectators. Good stuff.

Putting mettle to the pedal

94th edition of cycling's most gruelling test begins with a doping cloud over the sport
July 06, 2007 Matthew ChungSports Reporter

The Tour de France starts rolling tomorrow with 189 cyclists sprinting out of the starter's gate for a 7.9-kilomentre prologue in London. The casual viewer could easily be dropped by the peloton of terms – domestique, maillot jaune – faster than a sprinter climbing a mountain in the Alps. They risk missing out on the technology, tactics, teamwork and fortitude behind this grand bike race.

To avoid falling out of the saddle while watching, here are five questions with answers to help get the most out of Tour viewing:

1. There's no Lance Armstrong. Who are these men in short tights?
Two years after Armstrong's retirement, the Tour remains a wide-open contest. Included among this year's favourites is Alexandre Vinokourov from Kazakhstan, a good all-round rider not allowed to race last year because teammates were implicated in the "Operation Puerto" doping case. Andreas Kloden, who finished third last year, is also considered a favourite.

2. Why is one rider wearing a yellow shirt?
The rider with the best overall time wears the coveted maillot jaune (yellow jersey). A rider's overall time is calculated by adding up the time it takes to complete each stage. The 20-stage Tour winner is the rider with the lowest overall time when they cross the line on the Champs Élysées on July 29.
Other important jerseys: Green, worn by the rider who collects the most sprint points that are awarded at the end of each stage and at designated sprint zones; and Polka Dot, worn by the rider who gets the most mountain climbing points awarded over each mountain.

3. What's the difference between the flat stages, time trials and mountainous stages?
On the flat stages the pack of riders, referred to as the peloton, usually manage to stay together, with a few riders trying to break away from the group. These races usually end in a hair-raising dash to the finish line.
In the time trial, each rider sets out on his own, riding futurist-looking bikes and wearing aerodynamic helmets. The time trial is important because it creates significant gaps between riders' times.
The mountain stages are where the Tour is won and lost. Here, champions like Lance Armstrong and Miguel Indurain stamped their authority on the Tour, leaving competitors in their wake. The riders cover 3,569 kilometres overall.

4. Do all the riders have hopes of winning the Tour?
No, each team has a leader and his teammates, called domestiques, who will burn out their legs to set up their team's sprinter or drag themselves through agonizing climbs to assist their leader to the top of a mountain. One unlucky rider has the job of carrying water bottles from the team car to the rest of the team.

5. Aren't these guys all on drugs?
Drug scandals continue to plague the Tour before the 94th edition starts, with disgraced 2006 winner Floyd Landis fighting doping charges and world-class sprinter Alessandro Petacchi missing the race after returning a "non-negative" test for the asthma drug salbutamol during the 21-stage Giro D'Italia. In an attempt to clean up the Tour, the International Cycling Union has made it mandatory for riders to sign a commitment to clean cycling and give a DNA sample.

Have more Tour questions?

Email mchung@thestar.ca

Canada Cup - Hardwood Hills, Barrie

2007-06-18T10:43:00.000-04:00

The start -- I'm in there somewhere

This season has been a little different than my previous season and a half so far -- see, this time around, I know that I am not going to be in contention for a podium or win, and somehow that takes off a lot of pressure (maybe too much to be honest).

Anyway, this point was never more clear to me than at yesterday's Canada Cup. I actually lined up against the best in the world. Just to be there, at the same start line, was something of a career highlight. To have the privelege of having my ass kicked by 2007's World Cup leaders, team China; Canada's best Olympic hope, Kiara Basaro; representatives from Brazil and of course Canadians from coast to coast -- WELL, it was a real high point.

Let me tell you about the Chinese ... this year, they've come out of nowhere to dominate the World Cup Circuit. There are three of them, they are about 20 years old each and they go like stink. They have even knocked my personal idol, Gunn-Rita Dahle off the top of the World Cup standings.

Let me tell you about Gunn-Rita. From the moment she picked up a bike, she was fast. In her first season, she raced World Cups -- and won. And she's never looked back. She routinely cleans the clocks of the best women in the world. Until now, when the Chinese appear out of nowhere.

Now it would be unsports-womanlike to cast any suspicion on the Chinese, so I'll just leave it at that and remind you, dear reader, that I too got to be annilhated by them.

On the course, the racing was much more aggressive than usual in Ontario Cups. Passing was exciting ... especially because of all the different languages being yelled from behind. The Chinese left it at a simple "hi, hi, hi, hi, hi ... " They sounded like barking dogs. They were animals! And yes, I know this because I was in fact lapped by all three. The French were speaking a language that was neither french or english, and I think I heard some other strange yelps from far off countries as well. Hard to say.

The course itself was just a brutal endeavour. I felt sick to my stomach for half of it as it was just constant ups and downs. I think I actually had motion-sickness at one point. It was also a course prone to too much braking, so there was lots of opportunity to make the mistake of braking then having to work to get the bike back up to speed ... when if you'd just taken the risk and not braked, you'd have saved all that energy. Of course, you might have also hit the tree. It's a gamble.

Huge thank you to Liz who was, as usual, a hero in the feed zone. I don't know how she keeps track of Jerome, Chris and I all on the course at the same time directly after finished her own race. But thank you thank you thank you!!

My race was a solid "good". I wasn't nearly as grumpy as usual because there weren't so many old men pushing me out of their way. It was a hot day and I made quite a few errors. Fell once, and even had a mechanical. But my results were the usual -- I beat one girl, and another who DNF'd.

And speaking of results, the Chinese took 1, 2 and 3 and our Canadian, Kiara Bisaro took the fourth spot. I beleive I mentioned Marie-Helene Premont was expected but she didn't end up coming afterall. Too bad because she's another amazing lady I'd love to be humbled by.

Truthfully, I was just tickled to be there, and I gave the race everything I had so the day was a success.

now where is that advil.... ?

Help someone less fortunate than you.

2007-06-14T10:56:00.000-04:00

In my wanderings today, I found this website: http://www.kiva.org/app.php

The Star has done an article on the site as well but the basics are through kiva.org, you can loan funds from $25 to as much as you want to entrepreneurs in other countries just trying to start out.

The Star highlights the story of a man in Mexico who was loaned the funds he needed to start his own barbershop. But a quick look through the featured entrepreneurs on the site shows varied enterprises from raising cattle, to starting a food market, to opening a shoe store.

Kiva is Swahili for "unity" and I think this is a really great site. I hope you check it out.

Cheers!

This and That

2007-06-14T10:39:00.000-04:00

hello world,
It's been awhile since I posted anything so I thougth I would just do a quick update on what's been going on in my world ...

Racing: Last weekend was the KW-Classic Road Race which was all very good fun. It was also very hot on a course with tons of climbing and not much shelter. Our group of ladies was a little small but it was cozy. We mostly stayed together except for the winner of the race who successfully completed a solo breakaway from 5 laps in. The race was 16 laps/75km. So wow, good for her. The rest of us were left to battle it out for second. With four laps to go, I expertly dropped my chain into the frame and had to stop, get off and re-install. I had to work really hard to get back into the group and by then, the race had really picked up as there were only two laps to go. Just getting back on the group was a victory in itself, and I found I still had the legs to put down a decent finish as well. I came 6th and thought the whole day was just a great positive experience. Thanks to Waterloo Cycling Club and OCA for a great event. Sadly, I have no photos! drat.
Work: The job is slowly turning up and I find I am always either working or training. We have quite the summer ahead of us but I am actually really excited. I was worried I'd just be exhausted but so far so good -- the adrenaline is already pumping and I expect it will only get better. I count myself pretty lucky to be in a job that's so rewarding and stimulating. I think we all do, so hopefully we do a good job this summer/fall. haha.
On Modelling: So guess what? I recently had my fifteen minutes of fame in the world of print modelling. An open call went out for girls with bikes, so I auditioned and got the part. Look for my mug on upcoming Nikon Coolpix ads set to appear in such publications as MacLeans and Toronto Life. It was as hilarious as it was profitable.
Recent Movies I've seen: Pirates of the Carribbean 3 ... Wha...? I also watched "Bon cop, Bad cop" the other night. It was the most stereotypically Canadian thing I have ever seen but I did have some genuine laughs in it. I would give it one thumb up.
What I'm Reading: "Snow Falling on Cedars" for the second time. I don't usually read books twice because there just isn't room in my life for seconds. I'd rather get onto the next new thing ... but this book has a spot on my list of favourite reads and since i saw it the other day in a used book store for only $5, I thought what the hay. It's even better the second time around. I'm finding out that "the second time around" is better in lots of ways. (which is a gentle suggestion about a sub-bullet -- my love life as well)
What's Coming Up: So there's a Canada Cup this weekend at which time I will be on the race course with such talent as Marie Helene Premont and the Chinese National Team. If you're interested in coming to see Marie Helene knock off four laps in the time it takes me to do two, come to Hardwood Hills on Sunday, 11:30.

That's it for now,

Ta.

What's the Caption?

2007-05-29T13:55:00.000-04:00

I just love this photo. Found it today in my wanderings. Please post any ideas for an appropriate caption in the comments. Cheers!

Chico's Spring Epic 8, Mansfield

2007-05-28T20:52:00.000-04:00

What could be better than spending an entire day with the extended mountain bike racing family, hanging out with friends in good weather, and riding real fast once in awhile? That's why 8s are so much fun. when you're out on the trails, and you get passed, the passing person always says "good job, keep going!". Even if you do the passing, you get cheered for. Compare to Ocups where the commentary usually is more along the lines of "Move bitch, get out tha way!"

And Chico plays poppy music all day in the transition area. At one point, he promised an Epic 8 of Nickelback, so I'm looking foward to that. I just love Nickelback. They're so handsome and well put together. I just love a clean cut guy. Especially ones with such angelic voices.

He also promised an Epic 8 of Avril Lavigne. but I actually think that would be awesome.

Anyway, the weather looked threatening a couple times but held up beautifully. It would have been alright with me if it did rain a little bit though. It was really dusty and for awhile I was afraid I was having a relapse. hack hack hack. But then I realized everyone around me was doing the same thing so it was probably just a matter of rolling with the punches.

For those of you curious about what exactly an "epic 8" is, I will try to fill you in. An epic 8 begins at 10am and ends at 6pm. You and your team have the mission to try and complete more laps than the other teams in your category. There is a transition zone where you keep track of the laps and switch up riders. Categories are separated by how many are on your team, age and gender. So I raced in the 3-4 person, mixed category, combined age under 120. The other Sweet Pete's team was in the all male group, 3-4 person. There are also solo categories, and tag teams. All different ages and abilities come out to challenge themselves.

www.chicoracing.com has all the info.

The best part of the day was actually winning the thing, so here's us on the podium, as well as the other Sweet Pete's team, who also got on the top shelf. Tons of shots on facebook as well but by other owners. I, as usual, left my camera in my bag for most of the day. duh.

Sweet Pete's 2 - Chris, Trevor and Kristen - #1!

Sweet Pete's 1 - Graham, Evan, Derek, Mark - #1!

Angry Spiders (8 legs, get it?!) - Bradley, Jerome and friends - #3! Look how cute Toby is. Angry Spiders had a rough start to the day with two broken chains. They came back from 30th place to take 3rd. Wow.

Here's my team, Trevor, Chris and Liz who rode up for the day to cheer and help Tanya, who did the whole 8 hours on her own. And I thought I was tough ...

hack Albion hack hack

2007-05-17T14:30:00.001-04:00

This race will forever be engrained in memory as the day I raced sick.

It started at the pre-ride. I assumed I’d inhaled a little too much dust as the coughing was persistent all through that evening. The next day it continued. And the day after. Finally, I went to see a doctor about the whole thing as it seemed a little unusual.

That was Thursday. By Sunday, I was a total mess. I’d almost entirely lost my voice, and my nights were spent awake trying to douse the flames burning in my throat. My body seemed determined to evict my lungs and esophagus.

I could barely climb a flight of stairs … how was I going to ride a mountain bike race?

I took another dose of Benylin, a couple throat lozenges and saddled up for the warm–up. I was a phlegmy mess and my heart rate was stuck around 120.

Lining up with the rest of the girls I couldn’t help but think “what I am doing here?” But as Joe says, someday, there will be a make-or-break race and at least now if I’m sick for that day, I’ll know what to expect.

I threw out all my usual race goals and replaced them with just one: finish.

On the first lap, as my heart rate began to rise, I felt I quite literally had hit a wall. The room in my lungs seemed to be getting smaller and smaller. I pushed the pedals round and round for 2 laps, 3 laps, and finally the last lap arrived.

Determined to feel I’d accomplished something I set a new goal to make my last lap my fastest and just kept pushing through the pain. By then, my throat was no longer sore, my legs were still fresh and the space in my lungs was being won over by my will to pull something out of this.

I crossed the line, last, and all the things I’d been running from immediately caught up with me. I’ll spare you the details, but suffice to say, it wasn’t pretty.

So what did I learn? I can do it. Even when I think I can’t walk to the parking lot, somewhere inside me there’s a girl who just wants to ride her bike.

The Seven Wonders of Canada

2007-05-17T12:54:00.000-04:00

Vote for Saugeen Shores! Our homegrown sunsets have been nominated in the Seven Wonders of Canada project run by the CBC. Check out all the nominees at www.cbc.ca/sevenwonders

Down a notch

2007-05-11T13:24:00.000-04:00

So I raced the midweek race at Albion on Tuesday night. It has been lovely weather lately and consequently, the course was dry and dusty. After the race, as is usual, I began to cough. I coughed during the cool down. I coughed on the drive home. I coughed when we stopped for dinner. I coughed in the shower. I woke up coughing. I went through the day coughing, until today, Friday, and I am STILL coughing.

Yesterday, after all that coughing, I went to see a doctor at the walk-in clinic around the corner from my office. My chest felt like a belt had been tightened around it. After the long wait, a doctor poked me, prodded me, asked me a couple questions and decided I have a throat infection. He gave me the option of taking a swab, or just having a prescription for antibiotics done right then.

I was a little confused, as maybe you are as well. I asked, "well, shouldn't we find out what I have before medicating it?" and he said, "yes, usually, but some people just want the drugs." I was taken aback. I opted to have a swab done and the results were to be faxed to my family doctor this morning.

Of course, today is the day that the one nurse working for my family doctor is off. There is no one to a) look at my results and b) prescribe the correct medication.

So now I am headed into the weekend without antibiotics to fight down this thing. My body is still trying to evict my lungs and windpipe. And I have a race on Sunday I might add.

I guess I should have just taken the drugs.

I'll remember that for next time.

THE KILLERS

2007-05-08T09:24:00.000-04:00

I saw the Killers last night at the ACC in Toronto. Thanks to Dave and and co. for having me out. The show was pretty rockin, but I think I must have got old at some point. I kept thinking, "I wish they'd turn it down a little".

How was the race?

2007-05-07T11:52:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I raced in the 39th annual Springbank road races held in London's Springbank park. What a day! It was perfect weather and I was ready to race. Ready despite having put 116km on my legs the day before, but that's beside the point. (For the truly curious, I was a captive audience in a group ride I had to stick with lest I be lost in Milton, ugh)

Anyway, I brought my rollers with me (like a treadmill for bikes) so that I could be sure to get in a good warmup and I was not disappointed. Off to a good start, I rolled up to the line, feeling relaxed and confident. These feelings mostly just increased over the course of the race.

To put this into perspective, last year I was terrified as it was my first road race ever. I was late to the line, had no idea what I was doing or what to expect. I was quickly dropped and then left to conduct my own personal death march for the remaining laps (determined as I was NOT to post a DNF).

THIS year, I was on the line in good time. I stayed near the front of the pack for the entire race which is always a good idea because then you're still getting draft, and you are able to avoid most crashes as that usually happens deep in the pack where there is very tight quarters.

There was a crash actually and this theory was thus proven as I escaped unharmed. (thank goodness!)

I stayed in my big ring for the entire race (last year I didn't know that would be a good idea and dropped my chain once shifting between my big and small ring. what a newb I was!) and hardly even broke a sweat. I thought to myself -- this is easy! borderline boring actually.

About then they started announcing prime laps. A "prime" is a special prize awarded to the first person over the line on the lap it is announced. It basically adds to the amusement of those watching as we all fight it out in a sprint for 26 bucks. Btw the men's primes were 40 bucks. Where is the justice?

While I never expected to win a prime (as Merrill Collins, indisputeably the fastest woman in Ontario was also racing that day) I broke with each sprint to make sure that if a group got away on a prime, I would be with them. However, no one ever attempted anything.

There was some aggressive behaviour both endured and laid down by me. In road racing these things happen as we all fight for wheels to suck draft off and position in the pack. One lady took things a little too far though -- apparently she thought we were playing hockey. She managed to insert her elbow under my forearm and lift which meant I had to react or else be forced to steer sharply into my neighbour on the other side. This same lady was a menace throughout the entire race.

The other exciting moment came when an old man wandered onto the course directly in front of us. That same man repeated his mistake during the men's race. It is one thing to be run down by a pack of women doing 40km/h, but the men are hitting speeds of 60km/h on the flats. An official had to heroically jump into harm's way, grab the geezer and pull him to safety. The man had no idea what was going on around him and actually almost backed himself BACK onto the course right into the oncoming freight train of the men's peleton. It was harrowing. Everyone was safe and we cheered for the official. I don't think the racers even knew what happened.

Anyway, I finished the race sprinting as best I could (I found out this is a skill I could improve on!) with the best in the land. I came in 9th when it was all over but all the women posted the same time in the results so you can imagine it was a close race. We started together and stayed together. For next time I have a better idea of my options and the realities of my category so I will let you know how my experimenting goes.

All in all an excellent day spent in London!

Do you hear what I hear?

2007-04-27T09:59:00.000-04:00

Lately while watching TV, I've noticed something about some new ads that was music to my ears.

Not once, but TWICE, I've been pleasantly surprised to hear the music of two of my most favourite artists.

Listen for Esthero on the new Zellers commercial ...

and Lilly Allen on the new Degree Commercial.

Then go buy their CDs.

I ♥ Mountain Biking

2007-04-26T15:30:00.001-04:00

Yesterday the universe was on my side. By shear luck, I randomly arrived at work with all the necessary gear for a mountain bike ride, despite my true intentions.

True intentions = to ride my bike to the shop after work, leave it there and continue to indoor spin class.

However, when I called to let Sweet Pete's know I was on my way, Pete himself told me "how about you just come with us to Albion instead?"

Now that's an offer I couldn't refuse. So off we went and it was Fantastic. Pete had some pretty fancy light sets so even when the sun went down, we were still going. Night riding is something I was only luke warm to (to be generous) in the past, but in a group, riding together at a perfect pace, I found out that it is actually awesome. I think that had a lot to do with the AMAZING lightset I was loaned but just the same.

I felt so great afterwards -- it was the most at peace I've felt in a long time.

In other mountain biking news, check out this photo of me on my new Anthem. This is at the first race of the season which I finished in first place. Thanks to the organizers of Spring Fling -- it was a great event with tons of prizes. Definitely remember for next year! And huge thanks to Mom, Dad and Charlee for coming out to cheer me on (and snap this great photo!)

I'm off to a great start ... can't wait for Ocup 1 this Sunday -- even in the rain.

Cheers!

There goes the neighbourhood ...

2007-04-11T09:41:00.000-04:00

Last year about this time I moved into my lovely new apartment. I believe there is a post on here to that effect and if I were a blogger worth my spit I could link to it or something ... but that's just a lot of extra clicking and scrolling I'd gladly leave to you.

Anyway it's not the point.

The point is, the lower levels of my then-brand-new building are filling up with all sorts of interesting ways for me to piddle away my cash.

First, the arrival of the block's token Starbucks and then yesterday, SUBWAY Sandwiches unveiled their sign.

I'll never buy groceries again.

Part of me is truly excited to see a subway in such close proximity to my front door. I really really love their subs.

But the part of me that has to pay for my addiction is distressed. Oh Sweet Onion Teriyaki. Oh Steak and Cheese. Oh Subway Melt. Oh Cold cut Trio.

Woe is me (she said with a grin).

What's next?? I'm holding out for a Blockbuster.

A Step in the Right Direction

2007-04-04T10:59:00.000-04:00

For those of you who don't know, I recently switched jobs within my office. I am now a writer which is truly a dream come true. They warned me I ought to have a thick skin when I signed up and over the first month or so I found out why. Most things I 'write' come back nearly unrecognizeable once they've been to the editor/bossman. Am I still supposed to feel like I'm actually writing something? Have I just fooled everyone? I think I may actually make more work around here as opposed to contributing to the team.

But all that doesn't matter today, because TODAY, I sent something to the editor/bossman and his only comment was ... wait for it ... "perfect!"

Wow. I can do it afterall.

Baby Pictures!

2007-03-14T08:18:00.000-04:00

Hello World, meet my new baby, a Giant Anthem 07 pro-deal'd through Sweet Pete's and welcome addition to the blank space on my bicycle rack. Isn't she just beautiful?

Failing ESP

2007-03-09T09:30:00.000-05:00

I read a cute story somewhere -- can't remember where -- I thought I'd share ... because who (ladies?) hasn't found themselves in this position before?

One day, 'Jane' was having a bad day. Nothing at work was going right, and all the little molehills of annoyances were seeming like an endless mountain range of difficulties.

She thought, "flowers would be really nice today". She took a few moments in the afternoon to try and will her husband into picking up flowers with ESP.

She is no fool, so she let that one go. Then she got an idea.

She called the florist and ordered a bouquet to her liking. She had it delivered to her husband's office. On the card, she put:

"Give these to your wife, she's having a bad day".

In Charge of Bananas

2007-02-23T17:27:00.000-05:00

in charge of bananas is Jerome's blog which sports even MORE Alabama stories. so if my little rendition hasn't been enough, I'd invite you to link to his for the bonus round.

www.inchargeofbananas.blogspot.com

Alabama Cycling Camp entry 14: Fin

2007-02-23T17:15:00.000-05:00

At LAST! I've made it to the end of base training for 2007. Look out world!

Today we were treated to weather that was almost as good as yesterday's. I got a little fooled and was a slightly chilled for the first little while in just my shorts and jersey, but the sun caught up and it was all good. We stayed in one big group today instead of splitting off. I rode for four hours and then decided that the extra hour and a half back to Ramer (as opposed to getting in the parked support van) was going to do nothing to improve my season, so I put my aching shoulders and legs into the van and got home early for first dibs on showers and lunch.

That was the upside--the downside was that I missed the group sprint for the Ramer town limits. This is fine though because it would have probably been bad for my moral. The way I'm told it went down is like so: three guys jumped the group at an intersection while the others were forced to wait for a passing car. Just when they thought they couldn't make it to close the gap, the eventual winner gave chase and closed their 300 metre lead reaching a heartrate of 205 and top speed of 65km/h. So, i have of course been telling everyone that I can do that too, I just don't want to. just goes to show though: cheaters never win and winners never cheat. It made for good stories at lunch at least.

So camp is over. all that's left for me to do is put the bike in the travel box, throw my stuff in my suitcase and wait for departure tomorrow morning. This might SHOCK you, but I'm really ready to head home. My legs gave out yesterday and complained all day today. Not a great feeling, but I am pleasantly surprised at how long it took for the miles to catch up. I'm not sure what the final score is, but it doesn't really matter anyway. i don't think the girls I line up against have had the same kind of advantage.

Tomorrow morning I'll have to say goodbye to all my good friends here. there maybe be tears .... of joy from them. There are a few people here who are actually displaying signs they may be afraid of me. this amuses me. Anyway, it will be nice to get back to toronto and train with athletes as opposed to the tourists we ended up with here. you can't "buy" speed. Just because you have the fanciest equipment, or the newest model bike does not mean you are going to get out there and kick ass. A Powertap doesn't make you powerful.

anyway, I've learned a lot about tolerance, and what I lack in that department. It will be nice to get back to work (did I just say that?!)

So goodbye Alabama. Thanks for the ups and downs (both in elevation and temperature) and here's hoping for my best season yet.

Cheers.

Alabama Cycling Camp -- another update

2007-02-22T15:42:00.000-05:00

Alabama Cycling Camp entry 13: Flanders strike again
5:22pm Wednesday, Feb 21

Today we had a gruelling ride that went from bad to worse. It was raining steadily the entire way which makes things ugly in a variety of ways. Number one, it is wet. Number two, the bike in front of you sprays water and grime from the road right into your mouth. Number three, it only takes about an hour for the shivering to start when you are soaked to the bone. We rode for three. Today, the Flanders pulled out all the stops and after making me gag at breakfast over their couply banter, pulled out a tandem for use on the ride. How much more cliche can you get??!! A bicycle built for two. aww. Ned was pretty proud of the thing and explained to anyone who would listen (or at least not walk away) that he built the thing himself yadda yadda yadda (i walked away).

Alabama Cycling Camp entry 14: it all comes together
3:41pm Today

At last, the perfect day at Cycling camp. I am so pleased with the ride and the weather...I was in jersey and shorts and still too hot. I was eating and drinking properly so I never ran out of gas on the ride and finished with lots left in the tank even though we had been out for four and a half hours. We split into two equal sized groups of 8 today instead of the huge chaotic train we've been dealing with since the new camp began. MUCH better, huge improvement. I even had an ice cream cone at a rest stop. Once, we rode by this place with horses in the field. I called out to a pretty white one and he took a shine to me and ran along beside while I cheered him on. He ran with me for the entire length of his fence and he even jumped over a fallen tree. I think he likes me. We also see a lot of cows on the wrong side of the fence but I don't encourage them to run along with us. I can't believe the change from yesterday to today! It is like another planet! Tomorrow is my last ride and i am hoping it measures up to today's. I'm sure not sticking around the library much longer--time to find a sunny spot on the deck and get into a book.

Alabama Cycling Camp: Update

2007-02-20T17:47:00.000-05:00

Alabama Cycling camp entry 8: The Cursed Flanders
There is this couple here who I think I've mentioned, that I've nicknamed the Flanders. They drive me nuts. I am actually beyond the point of irritated and have entered the realm of "off-my-rocker". here are few of my favourite moments:
1) every morning, I say to Mr. Flanders "good-morningly-doo!" ...and he doesn't get it.
2) Mr. Flanders likes words and to mess with double entendres. maybe they're puns but I'm always afraid to label something a pun in case the pungents (www.pungents.com) are looking in. it is actually a difficult concept for me. My favourites:
a) [to the group of us getting ready for a ride, inflating our tires] "looks like everyone is pumped up to ride!"
b) [every morning we have waffels for breakfast made in the famous waffel makers that self destruct if you forget to spray with pam (beside the point)] Flanders: "I don't think I got enough for breakfast...I'm still waffeling"
c) [there is this one moron here who gets under my skin more than anyone else and I will get to him later, but he has this stunt he pulls in that he puts the entire oversize jug of aunt jemima into the microwave in order to warm the syrup--nothing has brought out my rage more poignantly than this move] Flanders in reaction to my shrieks of "THIS IS NOT A FRAT HOUSE": "I guess you should have tried it more "syrup-titiously"".
3) there are men in my room and I have to wait my turn to get dressed in the morning or run between the bathroom and my suitcase gathering what I need to get ready to ride. This is because the Flanders refuse to be seperated and insist on sleeping on their beds pushed together. Thus making a "girls room" impossible. They share their room with another couple which makes me wonder "what is the point?!" unless they are kinky.
4) Mrs Flanders is passive aggressive. She speaks slowly in a sing song voice that makes me want to punch her.

that is all on the flanders.

Alabama Cycling Camp entry 9: Frat boy
Frat boy is actually a man who should know better. In my previous entry, I related briefly the story of his abuse of Aunt Jemima. In case you do not know, putting anything plastic (ie tupperware, leftover containers and syrup containers) in the microwave serves to release dioxins into the food within. Maybe this is a myth, but maybe not. So Frat boy likes his syrup warm.

I should preface this with a visual. Our breakfast nook is well stocked with all kinds of mugs and bowls. And if it isn't there, you need only ask and it will arrive magically from the kitchen. Instead of pouring what he needs into a mug, he opts to shove the entire three litre jug into the tiny microwave. It doesn't fit and syrup spills over onto the turn-table. The plasitc jug is not MEANT to be in a microwave, dioxins or not, and it comes out with considerably less integrity than when it went in. in my mind, the syrups is poisoned and wasted. I can't help myself. I shriek at him "THIS IS NOT A FRAT HOUSE" as Renee and Michelle literally wrestle the thing away from him politely asking him NOT to do that.

Can you believe it? the next morning, he repeats the same idiotic stunt.

he also overflowed the waffel maker with batter and made a huge mess there too.

Then, one day after our ride, he came in and gave Michelle a hard time treating her no better than a waitress demanding there be afternoon coffee made. she was quite taken aback. you see, this camp is not a four star hotel. you pay $80/day and get three full meals, guided rides and a bed for the night. you also get laundry and coaching. However, the side effect is you also get the cyclists who apparently can't afford to go anywhere else (like yours truly). This results in the hit and miss mix of people I've been describing.

Anyway, he goes off on some tirade that coffee only costs $0.70 a pot and WHY isn't Michelle making it for him yet?? She doesn't take it well and tells him he'd better get his own damn coffee AND cups because she is not going to wash them for him either. And he does, but only the next day because on Sundays, Alabama is closed.

From then on, we called him Coffee guy. She confronted him about it on the ride, explaining to him that she felt he was rude to her and imparting on him that she hopes in future, they get along better....and he went back to his "it only costs $0.70 to make" argument. It isn't about the money, moron.

I don't even know his name. I didn't bother to learn.

Today, he helped himself to Jerome's toolbox. Jerome's toolbox is JEROME'S TOOLBOX so imagine my surprise when I see it dismembered all over the porch. I have known Jerome for a long time, and this is the first time I have seen him even come close to losing it.

I warned frat boy what was coming, asking him whether or not he had Jerome's permission. he said he'd sorted it out on the ride, but I had heard the conversation and that is NOT the impression I got. when I tried to warn him, he actually mam'd me and basically told me to take a hike. Then Jerome walked in, saw his stuff strewn all over the place, and frat boy wound up with is tail between his legs.

and that is all I have to say about Frat boy. But I'm sure he'll provide more tooth-grinding stories before the week is out.

Oh, he also snores so loud I can hear him in my room next door.

Alabama Cycling Camp entry 10: I don't want to ride with you if:
1) You think a training ride is a race.
2) You can't keep a steady pace that requires the group behind you to surge forward then brake hard risking crossed wheels and collisions
3) you talk to me and look at me at the same time instead of the wheel in front of you
4) you don't carry enough foor and water for yourself
5) you don't carry the makings for a tube replacement
6) you think that grinding big gears makes you a better rider
7) in a group of 20, you ride in a way that stretches out the group so that no car can hope to pass all of us safely in under 4 seconds
8) you run your mouth
9) you YELL all the things you wish to communicate instead of using your hands quietly like civilized cyclists (sorry if this doesn't make sense to non-cyclists)
10) you just stop for whatever reason whenever you want and disrupt the group
11) you create a third file in a double file group, riding on the middle lane and potentially creating a situation in which I may actually have to witness your death (even if I am hoping for it).

Alabama Cycling Camp entry 11: I'm actually okay
I know from my postings that it may sound like I've morphed into my ugly evil self, the hateful bitch. Which I do admit has occassionaly been the case. Rage does tend to slow boil...and then the inevitable. So I thought I would write a note about what I do enjoy about Camp.

1) The miles. I have lots and lots and my legs are feeling amazing. I have done all my rides within my targeted zones and know that I will be reaping the benefits come race season
2) It is so nice to spend time with Aldo and Renee who I respect immensely and also have a certain amount of sympathy for since I know running the camp when it is this full is not an easy job. And it is full for the next two months!
3) There are only a few other things I find more soothing than cleaning my bike. It is REALLY clean right now. hint hint.
4) I have read some really beautiful stories picked out by Mr. Beatty (they include Testament by Nino Ricci, the History of Love by Nicole Strauss and The Time Traveller's Wife. I can't remember how to spell the author's name, so google it because it is so far my favourte)
5) The weather has improved immensely and today I rode in just shorts and a jersey which were lovingly selected by my sister in australia. Even my gloves came courtesy of Kim.
6) Did I mention the miles?
7) I don't have to go to work!!!
8) I am excited to go back to work because now that I've had a few days to slow down, I realize I am in a pretty awesome place at the moment. Everything is clicking.
9) I get to sleep more than 9 hours every night
10) someone else does all the cooking and cleaning

So worry not! These posts serve as a great way to vent and I thank you for listening. Cheers!

Alabama Cycling Camp, entry 6 and 7

2007-02-17T19:19:00.000-05:00

Little Red's

so last night, since it was the last for Steve and Peter, we decided to make it special and head to Little Red's -- THE local restaurant. They serve an all-you-can-eat buffet for $7 which includes sweet tea and a slice of pecan pie. Everything is swimming in grease. there is fried chicken that is REALLY good, but really sinful. There is black eyed peas, deep fried corn bread, potato salad, baked chicken, pork with bbq sauce and all kinds of other delicacies. when we arrived the staff picked us out immediately as being from out of town (i don't know how? the snap happy cameras? the Michigan accents? the Canadian ehs?) and we became sort of an event. they kept bringing stuff to our table for us to try in the southern way as they explained. anyway, last night i seriously considered bulimic tendencies because of the guilt and the belief that a good woof would be the only thing to make me feel better. i felt slippery and slimy from my tongue all the way down to my stomach. makes me want to barf now. anyway, now that that's out of the way, it is time to start on week two!

New Camp, New Crazy!

I can't believe how many people are here today. Saturday is camp change over day so out with last weeks campers and in with the new weeks campers. Those of us staying for two have to bridge the transition. this year, most of the new campers are crazy in that way that many cyclists are. They have already got under my skin and i never feel like starting a fight more than when i am trying to get my head around the social experiment that IS Alabama Cycling Camp. There is one couple here, who I have nicknamed the Flanders. They insist on pushing their beds together despite the fact there are two others in their room. there is another guy here proud of a Lance Armstrong tattoo he has permanently adorned his calf with. his ENTIRE calf. there are the usual hammer heads here to make everyone nuts on rides with their total disregard for simply rules like stay in double file and do not sprint up hills. there are a bunch of Canadians here as well but they have so far remained quiet. i suppose i would also be considered crazy in my own way too so perhaps i should cut some slack. but the way i see it, there are some here to make friends, and there are some here to get their miles. I'm part of the latter group and it is obvious who is part of the former. Aldo does an amazing job of reigning everyone in and making sure we all get what we came for. one week to go!

Alabama Cycling Camp -- entry 5 - BAD DAY

2007-02-16T16:52:00.000-05:00

so this morning started out okay. I promised myself yesterday that if it was cold again today i wasn't going to out. I set 3C as my lower limit. It was right on three and although i still didn't feel like I wanted to go out, i made the mistake of giving in and going out anyway. It took an hour before I hated everything there is to hate about cycling. I hated the way the water tasted after picking up the flavour of a plastic bottle. I hated the way my gloves were too thick to get into my pocket for some food. I hated the way the road was too rough. the way my temperature could never just be right. I even hated the other riders at various times. I wasn't fit for anything and really just wanted to throw my bike into the ditch. i imagined it for hours.

anyway, it all sounds very dramatic I'm sure, but it wasn't all bad. We had some early arrivers from the next camp last night and today. I missed the arrivals again last night because i went to bed pretty early. so this morning, i had three new names to learn. Wayne, Terri....and....well I guess I didn't know so well on the third. Terri and the other guy didn't ride with us and went immediately to work on building a deck outside the back. They drove here through the night and haven't slept yet. this worries me. I just overheard Terri trying to convince Aldo that base miles are a waste of time and that you should just be pushing hard all the time....what?!

so now we're back. I was too lazy to walk "all the way to the library" so i'm sitting on the couch by the fire. we had corn chowder for lunch. 60 miles on the bike. later, I think Michelle and I are going to try out some treasure from Big C's (if I can convince her to get off the couch as well). As we were both hurting today, we are deserving of a treat. I'd say the same thing if we rode like champs, so don't question my logic. You'll give yourself a headache.

Let's here some updates from home!

Cheers!

Alabama Cycling Camp -- The story so far

2007-02-15T16:43:00.000-05:00

So I've been in the south at Alabama Cycling Camp since Saturday after a particularly gruelling journey. too far on too little sleep. Things have been so far so good, but I would jack up the temperature a little if I had a choice! I have kept a log of sorts which I will cut and past below for your viewing pleasure!

Entry 1: I'M JUST AS GUILTY
Training for cycling has changed over the past ten or fifteen years, so I'm told. there used to be a thing called etiquette. Even if you were a junior riding on a long country ride with a bunch of pros, the chances of you getting dropped were slim to nil. Now, it seems the object of the game is to see how many people you can drop, especially if they are new to the sport. How that translates at Alabama Cycling Camp this week, and the fact that it translates at all, is a source of great frustration for me. And as the title of this note suggests, I am JUST AS GUILTY. for those non-cylcists, perhaps I should explain the term "dropped". In cycling, we ride in a group. usually we ride in a line in pairs of two. This way, only two cyclists at a time are forced to ride into the wind. They are said to be pulling, because the rest of us are literally pulled along in the slipstream of the cyclist in front of you. Riding in this way allows you to cover more ground at a higher speed because you are working together. Getting dropped then is when the speed of the lead cyclists gets too high to keep up with, despite being sucked along their slipstream. in an instant, you lose contact with their back wheel (meaning you drift too far back to get the suck) and then it is as though you too are riding into the wind. This tires you out fast and you can either fall off completely and ride alone, or else you are forced to spend a bunch of energy working to get back on. THIS SHOULD NOT BE HAPPENING at a camp where we're all just doing base miles. we should not be getting back to camp feeling like we left it all out on the road. But what happens is the famous pissing match I alluded to in a previous post. No one wants to be the one to say "my heartrate is too high--back it off" or "i'm hurting at this pace, let's slow it down". Hence, the vicious cycle. the most frustrating thing is that afterwards, at lunch or stretching, if you mention it, everyone will agree but no one will take responsibility. and as I said, I am just as guilty. It is the competitive drive that makes us into racers that makes us into horrible trainers. For crying out loud, today i was pushing gears in my big ring!! that is BAD because at this time of year, for the sake of your legs and your capillaries and your joints, the bike should feel like it doesn't have a chain on it at all. Use your finger to save your legs! as aldo says. I have been a very bad girl and aldo had it out with me today about it so that's it. From now on I promise to do my best and do my duty. now onto more interesting things....

Entry 2: the Weather
Last year, when I was down in Alabama I must have been spoiled. every day it was perfect cycling temperature (about 17C) and the sun was out. Last night I went to bed fearing I would be blown off to Oz by the tornadoes threatening to blow away Aldo's 100 year old house! On top of the church next door there are sirens that go off simultaneously with the ones in Montgomery to alert the county of tornadoes. they went off three times last night. off in the distance, the night sky was ablaze with the wildest lightening I've ever seen. It went up down and across and was constant. You could see the clouds swirling around when they were lit up. The men of course all pretended to be macho while Michelle and I scurried around getting our shoes on just in case we had to run across the yard to the only basement in the county: the church next door. Big C told us that afternoon that once the sirens go, you've got only three minutes to make it to safety lest you get a one-way-ticket to the Emerald City. the thunder started up and the rains too and this morning we woke up to temperatures at almost freezing. we suited up and went for a ride anyway and everyone was in awful moods. that's what happens when your feet turn into clubs and your fingers and hands are aching. All I could think about was "why am I out here doing this to myself?" But then we stopped at subway and had a sub and I felt better. The sun came out for the ride home at least so it wasn't all bad. 65 miles today to add to the total.

entry 3: Who let the dogs out?
Sorry for the campy title, but seriously: if one more yappy half-wild mongrel attacks my ankle, I am going LOSE IT. One got a little too close today and coach Aldo only convinced him to abort mission by squirting gatorade in his eyeball. It seems most people in Alabama have a mutt or two. If not a half-breed then a full fledged pitbull. I don't know what it is about a pack of lycra clad cyclists spinning by that can rouse even the laziest dog from where he lies, but it never fails. Maybe there is a high-pitched sound associated with spinning gears? Maybe they hate lycra? maybe we don't get special treatment at all and they in fact chase any old thing? As a pet owner though I have to say I don't understand how people can let their chase-happy dogs just roam free. I mean we ARE riding around on the roads which do occasionally have cars on them as well. Not that a pack of cyclists poses no threat either. Last year, a fellow camper Ed ran over a nice Weinheimer. The thing took a chain ring to the gut and was off running in the other direction yelping all the way. Lucky us, his owner was actually at the end of the driveway getting the mail and saw the whole thing. she wasn't even upset. that attitude seems apparent in most places around here. I have seen two or three dead dogs hit by cars just lying in the ditch. I mean, these are peoples' pets! How can they just leave them there for the turkey vultures? Actually it is the same with all roadkill around here. I can't tell you how nice it is to ride by a fresh deer carcass and take in a big oxygen depraved breath of DEATH smell. anyway, in our own neighbourhood there is a pack of dogs as well. I can't figure out which goes with which house, but the one across the street is home to a couple anyway. I saw the owner kick one the other day just because it wanted to come in and was whining about it. When it wouldn't stop whining, she came out with a shotgun and told it "i'll shoot you". It sulked away. the things you witness reading on the porch!!

Entry 4: aren't we in the south?!
The worst ride of my life was about this time two years ago while I was living in the Netherlands. I was new to the area so I didn't want to risk getting lost. I settled on just doing an "out-and-back" style ride. I only had my mountain bike with me, but rode on the road. I went 25km out to a town in Belgium. The weather was warmish, or at least I was dressed properly. I had lots of food and water. Then all of a sudden, it started to rain. The temperature dropped and it turned to snow. My feet turned to clubs and my chainrings iced over leaving me with useless gearing. My water leaked and as I was wearing a camel-back, i had to ditch it or else freeze to death. By the time I got back to where I was staying, I was in tears for the pain and I couldn't walk. It took an hour in the shower before I felt human again, and for the next 24 hours I had a persistent chill. yesterday was the third worst ride of my life. Today the second. It is FREEZING! and we went far -- another 70 miles today. My blood must have frozen in my veins because I couldn't get my heartrate up any more at one point. I even bonked, lucky me. Bonk is that awful feeling of "running on fumes only". Your body literally runs out of fuel and just starts to shut down. It has been a long time since I was that overjoyed to be home again!! at least I didn't cry....Tomorrow, Renee and I are going shopping. Screw this

Our Inner Ape

2007-01-10T12:23:00.000-05:00

I'm reading this book right now called "Our Inner Ape" by Frans de Waal, a leading primatologist and Dutch to boot. I think you should check it out no matter what your interests are. I didn't originally pick it out for myself but it found its way back into my hands so I thought "what the hell, I'll give it a read". First of all, anything written by an anything-gist usually inspires thoughts of dry, boring cures for insomnia. But I am continually impressed by de Waal's presentation--it isn't boring at all, and just sticks with the pop version of facts related to our closest relatives: apes.

The book focuses mostly on Chimps and Bonobos. At one point he notes, "Chimps solve their sex problems with power, while Bonobos solve their power problems with sex". I think humans, as relatives, have been fortunate enough to inherit traits from both of these branches.

I am not that far into the book yet, but am now reading a section on politics. I am telling you, the works of Locke, Hobbes and all the gang are lit up when you look at the ideas in terms of Ape society. The State of Nature has a whole new ring to it. He looks at questions of equality, power, and leadership and their origins. Its been awhile since I've read my political theory texts, but this book makes me want to take another look!

One of the most interesting things he relates is that animals, as a sign of submission, will mimic the greater animal. Sometimes this is obvious and done on purpose (like when you copy someone's body language in a meeting to make them feel more at ease) but there are a number of subconscious adaptations that go on as well. de Waal spoke of presidential speeches. The candidate who altered the tone of his voice to more closely match his oponent's has lost the popular vote in every single instance. The candidate who makes no change to his speech wins.

Everyone loves apes and so I think everyone could get something out of this book. We laugh at them heartily because they are such a true reflection of ourselves. It is an enlightening read! And I still have half a book to go...

Raw Shark Texts - after

2006-12-14T14:49:00.000-05:00

Since my last post, I have been reading an advance copy of The Raw Shark Texts. It's over...but it's not over. This is a book I know I'll be thinking about, talking about, and wondering about for a good while yet.

From what I'd read on the internet -- Moby dick meets The Matrix -- I really wasn't sure what to expect. A friend of mine in publishing, whose taste I trust, said it was good and that was enough for me. He sent me an advanced copy and off I went with it.

What a ride. Steven Hall takes his readers into a really strange world--It's familiar in that it seems to be the same one we all inhabit everyday, and yet it is so different.

It is a lot to fit into your head, but with Hall as your guide, you never feel anymore left behind than Eric Sanderson the second. I guess what I'm trying to say is you don't read this book--you experience it. Hall captures everything so beautifully. Starting with "My eyes slammed themselves capital O open" on the first page. The book is real and unreal.

As it isn't expected to come out until March 2007, I guess I'll have to wait to really delve into this discussion. I'm sure by then it will be talk of the town. I can't very well start posting theories and thoughts at this time as they'd only be spoilers.

But if you've read it, and want to get a coffee with me, let me know!

I give the book top marks. Loved it.

PS -- don't forget to click on the links in the first post on Raw Shark Texts. I left one and so did Steven Hall himself in the comments section! Cheers.

Raw Shark Texts - before

2006-11-24T10:54:00.000-05:00

Once in awhile, you find a book that is just really creative. I've only had the pleasure of reading the concept behind Raw Shark Texts, but just from that, I can tell you I'm itching to get my hands on this one. The buzz is all over. Check it out here.

Do you know a stranger?

2006-11-20T12:34:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, I took a rare ride on the Rocket. Even though it was Sunday, the train was pretty busy, but I managed to find a seat. One stop later, a man and his two sons boarded the train. He was well dressed--leather jacket, nice shoes, label jeans--and his sons were equally well taken care of. To me, he looked like a Bay Street finance whiz out on the weekend. Probably a big house in town, a nice car and all the trimmings one would expect.

Across from where the boys found seats, a lady, mid-30s was sitting with her roller-tote. She was skinny, dressed in tights with running shoes under a denim skirt. Her hair was an unnatural shade of yellow and it was matted at the back. Her nails were coated in chipped black nailpolish. She was wearing heavy mascara and even heavier lipstick and a "sleeping bag" style jacket that just might have lived up to its nickname once or twice.

To my surprise, she stood up to say hello to the man in the leather jacket. I don't know what kind of reflection that has on me, but I'd like to think I wasn't the only one intrigued.

It was obvious this pair hadn't seen each other in a long time. She asked the man what he was doing now, did he marry so and so, are these your children and on and on. He said he hadn't married so and so, he has two sons and a daughter at home and that the three of them were headed to the ACC to watch the Leaf's practice.

He politely asked after her story from when they'd last spoke 15 years ago. She told him she'd rented some places but had to leave because of problems with drugs and roommates and a combination of the two. She said she doesn't have a job, but hopes to find work soon. She said that since the renting thing hadn't worked out, she was now relying on shelters and assured him that it was going well.

I was glad that I took the train that morning because I think there is an important reminder in this little glimpse. These two people were once friends. To speak metaphorically, they started in the same room and based on which doors opened for one, and closed for the other, ended up in completely different houses.

I think it is important to remember that the people we pass on our way to work, or school, aren't the strangers we make them.

Multiply!

2006-11-14T18:56:00.000-05:00

Welcome to the newest online community shtick. The difference is this one is actually good. I am also a member of Hi-5, myspace, WAYNE and various other ones at the request of friends and acquaintances I've met along the way. Only I am notoriously good at signing in once or twice, setting up a profile and then abandoning the thing. But Multiply has so far been the most visually appealing, the most user friendly and the one with the most functions. So it is the one I will endorse and hope you'll set up a site of your own. when you do, add me: My ID is kristenlake and my site is kristenlake.multiply.com.

Happy Halloween!

2006-10-31T14:45:00.000-05:00

What an appropriate piece I found in the Star this afternoon...

I'm dying to know what ritual she was convinced was worth $1,400....

Witch must refund fee for failed spell
Oct. 31, 2006. 11:21 AM
MUNICH, Germany (AP) — A German court has ordered a self-proclaimed witch to refund a disappointed client her hefty fee for a spell that failed to win back the woman's partner.

The Munich administrative court said Monday it ruled that the witch must pay back the equivalent of $1,400 (Canadian) on the grounds she offered a service that was "objectively completely impossible."

After the client's boyfriend left her in 2003, she consulted the witch on a spell that would bring him back.

"The defendant carried out the corresponding ritual over several months, each time under a full moon, but without success," a court statement said.
It said the witch denied the client's claim that she had guaranteed success. However, the court ruled that was irrelevant because "a love ritual is not suited to influencing a person from a distance."

Neither woman's identity was released.

Woman from Inside Out

2006-10-13T11:11:00.000-04:00

Here is a cool movie I happened across today. Check it out!

Commenting

2006-10-11T21:38:00.000-04:00

I am blushing at the moment--sometimes even I can be a bit of a flake. I hope no one is rolling their eyes, but it just now came to my attention that for your comments to appear on my blog, I have to click on a little used tab on the "Dashboard" and accept them! I just published all the comments that have accumulated there since this blog's inception almost a year ago. My apologies to anyone who may have thought I left their comments off on purpose. My original intent was to keep spammers off my site (as they were a problem on my last blog...). But never fear! I have it all figured out now, so please, comment away. Unless you are selling penis enlarging miracle drugs or online degrees, I will publish your comments.

New Photos

2006-10-11T15:21:00.000-04:00

I'd invite you to check out the new albums I've posted of the summer. They can be found on the side bar to the right and are called "MS Bike Tour", "Hardwood Hills Ocup 6", "Kelso Ocup 7 (Provincial Championships)" and "Kama, Fall 2006".

Enjoy!

Car Troubles

2006-10-06T15:25:00.000-04:00

The car rental system in Ontario is not fair. I feel discriminated against as a 20-something, who is not yet a 25. Let's look at the facts:

1) At the age of 21, (with a few exceptions) anyone can rent a car from the major companies (Enterprise, Discount, Budget, Hertz) however, if under the age of 25, an additional fee applies. This fee is usually between 20 and 25 dollars per day, a coincidence I find interesting. Combined with the policy of 4-day minimum rental in the summer, that equals a $100 fee right off the bat to pay for my birthday.

2) On the webpage at "Zipcar", the "car rental alternative" (which is looking more and more appealing everyday...) they say research shows, people between the ages of 21 and 25 are no more likely to get into an accident than someone over 25. So what is this fee for?

It seems to me that they are simply cash-grabbing the demographic most likely to need to rent a car! Take me for example. I recently finished school, I have begun my first "real job" and my salary is in theory the lowest it will ever be. Buying a car of my own right now is not in the cards unless I plan to be part of the statistic that shows the average amount of savings for people under 30 is -5%. Which I don't. However, since I am still putting down roots in Toronto, I have occassion to drive to see friends who are putting their roots down somewhere else. I enjoy the odd visit home and work makes the coordinating the bus schedule more stressful than is necessary, and on top of all that, I am a girl on the go: I race a different venu at least once a month.

I am a person who needs a car, but can't afford to buy one. yet. Shouldn't I be the person the rental companies are catering to? But instead, there is this cost prohibitive fee standing between me and a reliable borrowed vehicle.

3) With my job, I am sometimes required to rent a car. But when this happens, gone are the hassles about my age. As soon as I am part of the "corporate plan" all the worry about my age melts away. Why is that??

I understand the other side too of course. There are others in my age bracket who are less than savoury and would likely rent a car to transport drugs or pick up hookers. But honestly, why do I have to pay for them?

In the end, I got a beat up old Impala that looks somewhat like an unmarked cop car. It has cigarette burns on the passenger seat and has that sweet smell of stale tobacco I am so fond of. But it runs (supposedly) and I didn't have to pay extra. Someone out there gets it I suppose.

Out with the old...

2006-09-27T09:58:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, I bade farewell to an old friend: my 2005 Red Giant NRS. For those of you in the dark, that's a bike. Some would say that is silly to become attached to what amounts to a hunk of alumninum with some fancy attachments, but attached I am! It can't be denied that many of the tenets of a good friendship were present: I often offered my bike encouragement, and I took care of it when it needed it. We have spent hours and hours playing together and been through thick and thin. I even neglected it for days on end, as is the case with most of my living breathing friends (a big hello to you lot!). I know people who even go so far as naming their bicycles. That's where I draw the line because deep down, I know it is just a tool.

So with that thought, I look to the bright side: I have a cache of shiny dollars safely stowed in my savings account where they will hopefully make lots of interest between now and when I get a new friend, a Giant Anthem Zero. Plus, because of the generosity of Sweet Pete's cycle shop, I actually got back every dollar I paid for the NRS except for $82 and some tax. I'd say that's a pretty good return on a hot bike that served me well.

Giant NRS, I salute you. Here's to many more happy trails.

Keep em Guessing!

2006-08-04T10:57:00.000-04:00

Here is a list of ways you can stay sane...

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds"

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity..... Pass this on!

The Sandhill Crane

2006-08-01T18:35:00.000-04:00

I was in Elliot Lake recently racing my bike, and on the way home, I saw a species of bird I have never seen before. It was enormous! I thought Emu when I first saw the pair of them. So I took advantage of the limitless resources of the internet and was able to identify the mystery birds as a Sandhill Crane. Here are some pics and stats--

"The Sandhill Crane is a tall gray bird of open grasslands, meadows, and wetlands. It congregates in huge numbers in migration."

Description

Very large bird.
Long neck.
Long Legs.
Gray body, may be stained reddish.
Red forehead.
White cheek.
Tufted feathers over rump.
Size: 120 cm (47 in)
Wingspan: 200 cm (79 in)
Weight: 3400-4900 g (120.02-172.97 ounces)

Sound
A deep, rolling trumpet and rattling

Conservation Status
One of the few crane species in the world that is still common. Mississippi and Cuban populations endangered.

Other Names
Grue Canadienne, Grue de Canada (French)Grulla, Grulla Cenicienta, Grulla del Canada (Spanish)

Cool Facts
The Sandhill Crane does not breed until it is two to seven years old. It can live up to the age of 20. Mated pairs stay together year round, and migrate south as a group with their offspring.

Quadriplegic moves objects with thoughts

2006-07-13T10:56:00.000-04:00

A brain implant allows a paralyzed man to open his email, move a prosthetic hand or adjust a TV setThe thought-capturing technology offers hope for people with spinal cord injuries, Joseph Hall writes
Jul. 13, 2006. 05:54 AM
JOSEPH HALL
STAFF REPORTER

In a medical breakthrough worthy of an illusionist's act, a U.S. quadriplegic has been able to move objects around him through the power of thought.
Usng a tiny sensor implanted on his brain, the paralyzed Massachusetts man was able to open email, control a prosthetic hand and adjust the volume on a television just by thinking about doing so, according to a cover article in this week's edition of the journal Nature.
And researchers say the thought-capturing technology could soon lead to profound improvements in the lives of people with spinal cord injuries — even to the point where arms and legs could be made to move at will.
"We've found that merely imagining action is sufficient to cause a particular activity," says John Donoghue, a neuroscientist at Rhode Island's Brown University and a lead study author.
"We're reading the neural activity related to that imagined action ... and using it to control devices."
Known as BrainGate, the technology includes an electrode array, about the size of a baby Aspirin, that's implanted on the surface of the brain's motor cortex. Located directly beneath the top of the skull, the motor cortex controls voluntary limb and body movements.
Brain impulses detected by the BrainGate array are sent up via a set of fine wires that pierce the skull and scalp. These are attached by cable to a computerized system that can amplify these neurological impulses or "spikes" and translate them, in real time, into the desired actions.
"Brain cells have a language called spikes, which are basically impulses," Donoghue says.
"And the change in the number of those impulses over time is really the way the brain carries around information from one spot to another."
For example, Donoghue says, neurons in the part of the motor cortex regulating hand movements might fire a series of 10 rapid spikes to indicate right and 20 spikes to indicate left.
"What we're trying to do is read the impulses when they occur and count them up," he says.
"And in the future, if we saw 10 impulses (from the hand centre of the cortex), we'd know that means right."
Paper co-author Leigh Hochberg, a neurologist at Massachusetts General Hospital, says that simply imagining a movement in your mind creates these neurological spikes.
And importantly, the study found, the motor cortex spikes continue to operate properly long after the signal path to their target limbs have been severed, through spinal injuries, amputations or disease.
"One of the very encouraging aspects of these initial findings is that this part of the brain, which normally sends its signals down through the spinal cord and ultimately out through the muscles, can still be used," says Hochberg.
As well, Hochberg says, the BrainGate equipment was able to learn the meaning of the test subject's spike sequences rapidly — often within minutes — and translate them accurately into external action commands.
"It was encouraging to see how quickly he (the test subject) was able to gain control over these physical alternative devices," he says.
Matthew Nagle, the main test subject in the Nature paper, is a quadriplegic who was stabbed in the neck in the summer of 2001 after coming to the defence of a friend in a fight.
The 6-foot-2 Boston-area native, a former high school football standout, was paralyzed from the neck down after the 20-centimetre blade severed his spinal cord.
So far, the 26-year-old man has been able to open and close a prosthetic hand, move a robotic arm and play Pong on a computer screen by simply thinking the necessary movements.
Currently, however, the BrainGate electronics Nagle used to run these devices are the size of a small refrigerator. As well, it's attached by wires to a penny-sized plug on his skull, so his mobility and the activities he can participate in are severely limited when he's hooked up.
But Donoghue says the equipment's Foxborough, Mass., manufacturer, Cyberkinetics Neurotechnology Systems Inc., is working to miniaturize the device and give it remote-control functions.
"We're taking something that's larger than two or three desk-top computers and reducing it down to something that's the size of a cellphone," says Donoghue, who is also Cyberkinetics' chief scientific officer.
Ultimately, Donoghue says, the technology, which has shown a 70 to 90 per cent thought-to-movement accuracy, could reconnect the motor cortex to muscle nerves, allowing people to use their own hands to grasp or move things.
Already, he says, there are devices that can allow paralyzed people to open and close their hands through electronic impulses.
Donoghue says such devices might be integrated into his thought-controlled system to create a virtual neurological connection.
Kevin Rogers, a spokesman for the Canadian Paraplegic Association, says the technology has enormous potential to improve the lives of people with spinal cord injuries.
"It's huge, especially for somebody who is a high-level quadriplegic," says Rogers, who himself has only limited movement in his arms. "That you could think, and it reads your thought patterns, you could have so much more independence."
While Rogers says the idea of a brain implant might give many people pause, he also sees possibilities for the technology to help people beyond those with spinal injuries.
He says people suffering from spastic disorders like cerebral palsy, for example, might use the system to gain easier access to computers and other electronic devices.
And Cyberkinetics president Tim Surgenor foresees many applications beyond prosthetic and rehabilitation functions — including some with military potential.
"There is an opportunity down the road ... to have people be able to use these products who are not disabled," Surgenor says.
"People who want to be able to control a computer by thinking, or who want to have an extra output that they don't have today."
He says military applications "are not a fantasy" and could, for example, allow pilots to plug their minds into their planes.
As well, he says, the system might be able to monitor brain signals for such things as epilepsy, pain or depression, as well as to bring signals into the brain to compensate for the loss of a particular function.

Toronto's hidden charm

2006-07-05T11:53:00.000-04:00

This morning, as I walked to work amid rumbling streetcars, blackberry-wielding pedestrians and bad drivers, I was surprised to stumble upon stalls and stalls of fresh berries and fruit. Maybe its just me, but I thought Nathan Philips Square was a most unlikely spot for such an abundant farmer's market. Fruits and berries are not all either! They had vegetables, honey, pies, and even fresh cut flowers. I asked one of the girls at the first stand and it turns out that this charming gathering of deliciously tempting wares appears every Wednesday morning. I am now serving notice that I intend to be late for work next Wednesday: I have shopping to do.

Supermarketing

2006-07-05T11:43:00.001-04:00

A crusading nutritionist helps confused consumers decide what to eat and how to get the most out of a trip to the grocery store

Jul. 5, 2006. 01:00 AM
SUSAN SAMPSON
FOOD EDITOR & WRITER

Marion Nestle is reading labels. She's always reading labels.

This morning, she is browsing through box after box of breakfast cereals lining aisle four of a Toronto supermarket.

"All of these cereal companies are doing health self-endorsements," she points out.

General Mills, for example, has the Goodness Corner. Post has the Sensible Solutions logo. They state the obvious about fat, fibre and added vitamins and minerals.

"Of course it's low in fat, a source of fibre. That's what cereal is," Nestle says, holding a box of Multi-Grain Cheerios.

She spots what looks like a brand of approval from the Heart and Stroke Foundation at the bottom of the package. So she puts on her glasses to read the fine print and finds that Cheerios financially supports the foundation's Health Check education program. "This is not an endorsement," the text warns.

"How shocking!" Nestle says.

She begins sorting through other packages. She prefers to buy the Honey Nut Cheerios.

"Do you want to eat that one instead?" she is asked.

"Certainly not!" she replies.

It's just that the Honey Nut box is more colourful and Nestle wants to add this example to her slide show of shame.

New York University professor, scientist, nutritionist and crusader, Nestle is famous for chewing out the food industry. She chastises corporations for encouraging gluttony and running ads that prompt kids to pester their folks for junk food.

Relentless attacks in print and in person, along with a 30-page resume that includes a doctorate in molecular biology and a master's in public health nutrition, have made her a tough opponent. She angers CEOs and makes life hard for lobbyists. The U.S. Sugar Association even threatened to sue her in 2002. Her critics say she puts politics ahead of hard science and gives not enough weight to personal responsibility for the obesity epidemic.

Nestle's views are captured in the books Food Politics: How the Food Industry Influences Nutrition and Health; Safe Food: Bacteria, Biotechnology, and Bioterrorism; and What to Eat: An Aisle-by-Aisle Guide to Savvy Food Choices and Good Eating.

What to Eat is new — a hardcover, 611-page, $39.95 table thumper. It has a lot of irrelevant (to us) references to American rules. It also talks universal sense.

The question of healthy eating is a minefield. And consumers are tiptoeing around in it. They remain confused about what to put in their carts and fear some foods are "poison," Nestle says.

"People are terrified of making a mistake," she says, navigating the aisles of the bright, shiny Dominion in Liberty Village during a visit to Toronto last week. "Everyone is looking for a simple solution."

And that is how she tries to keep it. One of her favourite sayings is: "It's just a food." Describing any one food as nutritious is easy. Proving it is difficult because diets are so varied, as are people, their genetic backgrounds and their lifestyles.

So Nestle espouses four easy principles: eat less, move more, eat lots of fruit and vegetables, go easy on junk foods.

These are bad for business. The most lucrative foods are not necessarily the best for the body. Basic ingredients are cheap. Processing adds value and ups profits. The shelf price of a potato chip by weight can be 10 times that of a potato, Nestle notes in her book. Advertising billions are spent encouraging us to buy the chip, but we don't hear much about the potato.

On the plus side, supermarkets do sell plenty of good-for-you stuff. That's why Nestle checks labels. And ingredient lists. The latter should be short, with items recognizable as food. (That, she says, leaves out a big portion of the frozen food section.)

Despite her reputation, Nestle appears positive, not strident. She prefers to linger amid the pretty produce than complain in the potato chip aisle.

A gorgeous selection of heirloom tomatoes — unusual for a supermarket — puts a smile on her face.

She is also pleased to see fruit and vegetables here labelled with place of origin, unlike the situation south of the border. "You're way ahead on this one," she says.

Local is best, she advises. Imported produce is often picked unripe and travel time by truck can be up to 10 days. "Fresh is relative," she says. In fact, Nestle believes flash-frozen fruit and vegetables are underrated. In winter, they may be better than what passes for fresh.

As for organics, she tells us to choose them not for what they might have (nutritional superiority — worth debating, hard to prove) but for what they don't have (like pesticides).

We all, by now, know the rule about sticking to the perimeter of the supermarket for the healthiest choices. But even that has its perils as the produce department stretches into the bakery, bakery into meat, meat into dairy.

Is yogurt health food or dessert? So many yogurts are sugar-laden, often in tubes and neon hues to please kids. Plain, unflavoured types with live cultures are in the minority.

A closer look at a package of hot dogs reveals that each one bears a quarter of the average person's fat and sodium allotment for the day. "That's a lot," Nestle says sadly.

At the in-house bakery, she picks up a packet of cinnamon buns. Hmmm, no nutrition label. "I'd have to guess about the calories," Nestle says. Her hunch: 500 each.

But calories are a tough call, she says, even for pros. "I don't think anyone can estimate calories. The only way to regulate intake is by weighing yourself."

If you maintain the same weight, you are in calorie balance. If you gain weight, she says, you are eating too much.

The latter is becoming the norm. In North America, life is a constant buffet. And the Law of Portion Size says the more food there is in front of you, the more you will eat.

Large supermarkets may display 40,000 edible products, Nestle writes. Food companies pay "slotting fees" for prime display space. Markets are designed with long aisles with no gaps that could allow you to escape before you impulse-buy your way to the other end.

"Supermarket retailers know more than you could possibly imagine about how to push your `buy' buttons," Nestle writes.

It all adds up to a plate piled high. What to put on that plate is the consumer's choice. Which brings us back to nutrition labels.

"The first thing I look at is calories, then portion size," Nestle says. "These are always smaller than you would actually eat. We've become accustomed to enormous quantities of food and people wonder why they are gaining weight."

Beware of the serving size trick on labels, she says. They are as small as possible to minimize the impact of calorie and fat content.

Staring down an entire aisle crammed with snacks and that liquid candy otherwise known as pop, Nestle says her first piece of advice for people who want to lose weight is "Lose the Coke."

In the buffet that is the supermarket, an enormous amount of shelf space is devoted to sugary foods: pastries, candy, cake mixes, juices and fruit "drinks," breakfast cereals (some "so thoroughly processed and sugared and filled with additives that they might as well be cookies," Nestle writes). Chocolate bars at the register make one last assault on your willpower.

Of late, manufacturers have been trying to make sugars look healthier. Hence the gummies with "real fruit juice" and those granola bars that give people a false sense of virtue.

For the record: one tablespoon of sugar is about 15 grams.

As Nestle waits in the checkout line, she talks proudly of influencing the American Diabetes Association to stop sponsoring sweet products.

No wonder she leaves Sugar Association executives with sour tastes in their mouths.

Nestle realized she was messing with powerful forces back in the 1980s. She had gotten a government job in the health department in Washington, editing a report on diet and the prevention of chronic disease. On her first day, she was told the report could never say eat less meat or the mad cattlemen would be hard to handle. She was soon beset by every food lobbyist in town — for sugar people, dairy farmers, salt sellers. And she was disillusioned to discover that a government document based on science could be strongly influenced by politics.

"All of them gave factual information and made veiled threats," she recalls. "It was very shocking."

Nestle (pronounced "Nessel") is no relation to the Nestlé food empire. ("It's a hilarious and ironic name for a nutritionist," she says.) She has relatives in Toronto (funny, one is a supermarket consultant) and has come here for a wedding.

Time is short. The supermarket tour is over. In the end, in an ideal world, this is what she'd like to see in our carts: vegetables and fruit; nuts, seeds and beans; whole grains; lean meats (in moderation, as opposed to the meat-centric plate); low-fat dairy foods; unprocessed or minimally processed foods.

But don't put these in your cart: foods with added sugar, added saturated fat or trans fat; refined grains; high-fat meat and cold cuts; whole milk and whole milk foods; highly processed foods.

And remember, shopping is about power and politics. Who has it? The consumer or the corporation?

"The choices you make about food are as much about the kind of world you want to live in as they are about what to have for dinner," Nestle writes.

Math is FUN

2006-06-23T11:50:00.000-04:00

If you're having trouble remembering your 9x Table, this is the trick for you. Where was this when I was in elementary school?

Hold your hands in front of you with your fingers spread out. From left to right, number each finger up to ten.
For 9 X 3 bend your third finger down. (9 X 4 would be the fourth finger etc.)
You have 2 fingers in front of the bent finger and 7 after the bent finger
Thus the answer must be 27
This technique works for the 9 times tables up to 10.

What about the 11x Table? starts out easy enough but when the multiplier gets too big, things get tricky. Try this!
Multiply 11 by 18 (or any two-digit number). Jot down 1 and 8 with a space between it. 1 -- 8.
Add the 8 and the 1 and put that number in the middle: 198

And finally, see if you can figure out the "Magic Gopher"

X versus Y

2006-06-20T15:44:00.000-04:00

It's time for Gen X to start reminiscing about the good old days, as a new generation comes of age, by Jen Gerson

Jun. 20, 2006. 06:24 AM
JEN GERSON
LIFE WRITER

As useful as Generation X has been at popularizing piercing, caffeine addiction and a self-satisfied sense of superiority born out of a love for charity rock concerts, it's about time it moved on to make room for the next beacons of youth culture — Generation Y.

It's our turn. Remember when the Xers wanted to shove the baby boomers aside? Payback's a bitch.

By now, we know who the Xers really are. And other than Molly Ringwald and sarcasm, what have they done for the world lately? Have you seen what they're pumping out on cable?

Generation X became the moniker for yet another lost generation: the whiny, the entitled, and at first, the underemployed. The Xers remain loosely defined as the forgotten children born after the glut of baby boomers between 1965 and 1980.

Although their adulthood began in earnest with a great deal of railing against the boomers in lieu of their missed opportunities, soon their lives became like the TBS lineup: continuous episodes of Friends by day, Sex and the City by night.

As the first wave of Gen Xers start selling off their condos and moving into the suburb years, the next generation of tastemakers and trendsetters are coming of age. And while a plethora of aging academics and boomer naysayers have analyzed our Net, work and social habits ad nauseam, there's no voice coming from inside to stake our claim, to say, "This is what makes us different."

Give us time. Gen Y came immediately after the 1980s, and floats in its infancy. Gen Y is forming its identity apart from its generational older siblings. The Gen Xers are flailing in their attempts to maintain their domination of all things young and cool.

So while the line between the generations is still being drawn, how does one tell the two cohorts apart? For your convenience, it's Gen X vs. Gen Y: A Spotter's Guide.

Music
CDs vs. MP3
The easiest way to spot a Gen Xer is to examine his dwelling. If upon entering, you spot a pristine CD rack stacked with 100 or more purchased albums with original artwork, you've stumbled upon the lair of someone who spent the '90s in coffee shops, not public school.

Gen Yers came of age amid the Napster frenzy. File-friendly music is our domain, but that doesn't mean we're entirely over the CD just yet. We just don't buy new. In hunting Gen Yers, know that most have a soft-cover CD case. Look for the iPod, yes, but more telling is a mixed blank CD labelled with Sharpies.

Walkman vs. iPod
Remember when Sony was all the rage and Apple was a ragtag computer company with a cool commercial? Me neither. I'm on my second iPod.
While most Gen Xers — after finding that Walkmans break faster than Humpty Dumpty on crack — are migrating to the iPod, it is with a fond nostalgia for gadgets past. Transferring those walls of albums into MP3s is arduous work.

Nirvana vs. Eminem
They were edgy. They were raw. They challenged the mores of their time: Eminem with his crass lyrics, homophobia, sexism, racism, violence and gratuitous substance abuse; Kurt Cobain with heroin, angst and suicide. If you're a Gen Xer, Kurt's death marked the end of your youth. You mourned him and vowed to lay off the smack, hypothetically.
If you're from Gen Y, you got in trouble for singing the lyrics to one of Eminem's songs — yet probably still have trouble spelling the artist's name. Within the next decade our most lovable misfit will either kill himself, or get killed in a hip-hop-gang-related shoot-out that will unite the urban music community against violence, bringing about the genre's ultimate downfall.

Politics
Fall of the Berlin Wall vs. Sept. 11.
Every generation has its political awakening, a moment that will define its understanding of the world. This event should be significant enough to wake the masses from apathetic stupor and, at least for a week or two, inspire them to understand the world beyond their subdivision.

Generation Xers mark the fall of the Berlin Wall in 1989 as the symbolic end of the Cold War, in which the U.S. and its allies emerged as economic superpowers ready to lead the world into the new decade of freedom, McDonald's and Nike.

Gen Yers were just coming of age when the twin towers fell. For us, it marked the end of the peaceful world, as we knew it.

TV
Seinfeld vs. Survivor
If Seinfeld represented the peak of the sitcom, Survivor spelled the beginning of the end of TV as we knew it. Both employed Kafkaesque terminology in their marketing shticks. Seinfeld was the show about nothing. Survivor redefined reality by being a fictional show playing at reality, hence, "reality TV." It would spawn a genre that would become increasingly surreal and boring. It's post-post modernism vs. post-post-post modernism. We need a new term. Popopomo?

Pam vs. Paris
In his analysis of Pamela Anderson, Chuck Klosterman in Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs defined the now-aging bombshell as everything we love to hate about what we love. Big breasts, blonde hair, running on a beach. Simple, mindless sex.

Paris Hilton is Pam's anorexic, shopaholic, generational equivalent. She is the person we hate to admit we wish we were. She is celebritum absurdium. You cannot ponder Hilton's success without coming to Zen-like clarity on the nature of fame.

Culture
Whining vs. Blogging
While Xers would suffer through dead-end jobs (or unemployment) and whine about it over unadorned espresso, Yers get mediocre jobs and complain about them on blogs and MySpace — then get fired. This paradigm is known as a lack of ambition versus a lack of propriety.
Unlike their previous counterparts — who are content to embrace liberalism and blame the system for their lack of success — Yers may be reaching for the stars. They just don't know when to shut up about it.

Atari vs. NES
The revolutionary graphics of Super Mario remain the domain of the Y Generation. Sorry, Xers. Be content with the impressive saga of 8-bit colour games that include Frogger, Space Invaders and Pac Man. The ones us younguns are playing on our cell phones.

Keep in mind, with its oldest members turning 24, Gen Y has only just begun to take over the world. Here's hoping there will be something left of it to hand over to Generation Z.

Four Sisters Fall

2006-06-12T14:32:00.000-04:00

A Mississauga Landmark went down this morning. Some people turned out to watch and most of the interviews I have read have people coming off SAD! Unbelievable. In The Star, one observer was quoted as saying she’ll miss looking out her living room window and seeing the smokestacks.
“It’s just sad. It’s not going to be the same,” she said. Give me a break! "I'm going to miss those ugly four smokestacks" is not something I can see myself saying. Especially not when they are credited with being the single most potent polluter in the area. yeah, sure, I'll really miss them.

In related news, the government is going nuclear! Let the games begin! Perhaps it is political suicide, but at the very least, it will get some intelligent discussion on the subject into the news. At least one would hope.

Fingers crossed.

Happy Coincidence

2006-05-29T09:52:00.000-04:00

This morning, I woke up, checked the paper and discovered that Toronto's commuters (from which I am happily excluded) got a nasty surprise today: the TTC has gone on a surprise strike they are calling a wildcat due to its lack of legality. Crowds of people were huddled in bus and streetcar stops making phone calls to try and arrange a ride. Taxis were few and far between--it would be a bad morning for a cabbie to sleep in from a financial standpoint! Colleagues of mine missed flights, and cancelled meetings--surely a common occurence all over the city. The strike has come about because drivers are protesting their lack of security among other things on a list of items to be renegotiated wrt their contracts. Last week, no one enforced TTC fares to protest the security issue.
Most Torontonians still paid--which, in a day when all you hear on the news is the next story about who got shot and how the killer got away--is a welcome bit of information. "Toronto the Good" is still in existence.

The title of this post is Happy Coincidence because although transit is out for an undisclosed amount of time, today also happens to be the beginning of Toronto's bike week. Bike Week started in 1988 to get commuters out of their cars and onto the more environmentally friendly mode of transit, cycling. There is nothing more aggravating than sitting in traffic with thousands of cars with only one occupant. It would be nice to put all of those people on bikes...or in streetcars.

Stephen Harper does not eat babies. Glad we got that cleared up.

2006-05-02T13:39:00.000-04:00

from the Star:

Harper doesn't eat babies: GO Transit

Rail authority apologizes after mischievous rider hacks into electronic message board

May 2, 2006. 07:47 AM
PHINJO GOMBU

Gerry Nicholls thought he was hallucinating as he kicked back in his seat to take the 35-minute GO train ride to his Oakville home.

About every three seconds, the scrolling electronic sign that usually carries transit updates and advertisements had a very different message that he just could not keep his eyes off.

"Stephen Harper Eats Babies. Stephen Harper Eats Babies. Stephen Harper Eats Babies," the message kept repeating.

"No one (in the car) seemed to be reacting to it," said Nicholls, who happens to be vice-president of the National Citizens Coalition, the same conservative think-tank formerly headed by Prime Minister Stephen Harper.

"You go home and you are trying to rest from work and all of a sudden where they usually talk about Ticketmaster, all of a sudden you see this thing say `Stephen Harper Eats Babies,'" Nicholls said yesterday. "I wasn't even sure when I got off the train. Was I hallucinating?"

Turns out he wasn't.

An ingenious hacker, who boarded the Lakeshore GO Transit westbound train, made sure that on Thursday, Friday and yesterday, suburban commuters in at least five different cars continued to get his or her subliminal message

His weapon of choice was a remote control device that can be bought at a Sam's Club and used to discreetly program scrolling electronic signs found commonly in shop windows — and in every GO Transit train car — from about two metres away.

When Exclusive Advertising, the company that sells interior advertising on GO trains, installed the LED signs about nine years ago, the signs, which have to be individually programmed, couldn't be password protected, said company president Greg Donohue.

The company sells advertisers $8,690 of space a month to play 15-second messages with 52 characters on a three-minute loop.

Donohue said the hacker appears to have always gotten on the train at the third car from the locomotive and used the upper levels of the train.

"We have never had any problems until now," said Donahue.

GO Transit spokesperson Ed Shea called it "a case of electronic vandalism."

"Unfortunately it's a slur, it's an offensive message," said Shea. "We regret it happened and we're sorry if anybody was offended, including the Prime Minister."

To prevent it from happening again, GO Transit will have to power down all the signs on their cars and use special software that is being couriered from the United States to password protect 790 such digital signs.

The whole process will take about three days.

Meanwhile, Nicholls said he's still not sure what to make of the whole episode, except to say that he was more startled by the over-the-top attack than anything.

"I kept waiting for the kicker," he said. "There's got to be something to this. It's a joke, they're going to explain it. It's an ad for baby food or something like that. It just kept going over and over again and I realized that this is something that could be pretty serious.

"I'm sure a lot of people could take offence, and I guess the other point is what other message could they put there?"

Asked about his time with Harper at the National Citizens Coalition, Nicholls said: "I worked with Stephen Harper for five years and never once did he in that time eat a baby."

My Music

2006-04-28T10:29:00.000-04:00

Unclear about Nuclear

2006-04-26T14:56:00.000-04:00

Bruce Power, Tiverton Ontario

Toronto Star prints readers' responses to recent news item. This one grabbed me: Voices: Nuclear power

I have coded it as follows: responses I agree with are in Green. Responses from people I think are "unclear about nuclear" are in Red with my comments, where applicable, in yellow. I haven't touched responses that make me go "meh".

Please, continue the discussion in the comments section. This is one topic I just can't get enough of.

*********************

Premier McGuinty is hinting that nuclear power is the best way to meet our energy needs. We asked you what you think. Here's what you had to say.

If nuclear energy is the most cost-effective means of ending this province's precarious energy supply situation, then it is the best way. We first need to worry about ensuring the province's energy needs are met before we have the luxury of considering more environmentally friendly means of energy production. Steven Bui, Thornhill

Would it not be worthy of consideration to incinerate our garbage at the old Hearn site? Less money spent, large money saved: two problems dealt with. Bruce McLean, Burlington

First time ever Mr. McGuinty made some sense. Better late than never. Nuclear is the way to go. Power from fossil fuel is the worst thing we can do to ourselves, whereas nuclear is clean, highly efficient, very cost effective and environmentally friendly. The best alternative to fossil fuel available today. Nasir Syed, Toronto

Solar or wind? What do you plan to use at night when the wind doesn't blow? Atomic power is the only answer. John Kaupp, Calgary

Yes I agree. Nuclear energy is currently the only reliable and cost-effective means of power generation to support the province. Wind and solar energy are "nice" ideas, however with existing technology and cost they won't keep the lights on and factories running. Glenn Russell, Toronto

Nuclear power is great. But what about the nuclear waste that will be generated? Toronto can't even manage it's own garbage, without trucking it off to Michigan. Are we going to truck the nuclear waste out too? Janice Cho-Chu, Toronto

Nuclear Waste: the most annoying topic of debate on the subject. The amount of power that comes from only a small amount of uranium is huge. therefore, the waste takes up hardly any space at all.

Not long ago the Star ran a story on the potential electrical energy we could gain from wind power and where the best areas for setting up wind farms are in this province. You told us the potential energy available from wind was far more than we in Ontario could use. I realize that wind is not constant but the potential was so large how can it be ignored? Why not spend the billions developing renewable energy instead of nuclear? Stephen Woof, Eagle Lake, Ont.

Windmills are only a tree in a forest compared to Nuclear. and I mean one big forest. They are costly to build, take up huge amounts of space that could be used for growing food and are in constant need of maintenance. And they provide something like 1/800th what nuclear power does.

Rather than increase the supply, can’t we decrease the demand? The individual needs to be made more responsible for the amount of power he or she consumes. We can all change little bits of how we live every day so that we make a change in the amount of power we require. It’s too easy to tell government to provide us with more and, in the long run, find it too costly to the environment. Sean Green, Pickering

So Ture. We are a wasteful lot.

Why is it that we keep using methods that will hurt us in the long run? Why don’t we use more environmentally friendly or green energy resources? For example, solar or wind? The wind farms are a great start; let’s expand on these methods of creating power. Robert Rigatti, Brampton

I don't beleive nuclear power will hurt us in the long run. How long is a long run? So far, nuclear power has killed no one.; at least not as mnay people as mining has

Anyone can see nuclear power is an accident waiting to happen. It may not be today, but one day and Ontario will be a radioactive wasteland for centuries. I thought McGuinty was smarter and braver than this. Brian Quinn, Oakville

Fear Mongoring. Having been to a nuclear facility, I can tell you there aren't many places that made me feel safer.

Nuclear energy produces more waste. In fact they are trying to find a place to bury this waste, and it is more dangerous. With proper recycling and separating, you can burn garbage as well as coal. The waste is not as dangerous. Would you rather have nuclear waste buried in your back yard? Allen James, North Bay, Ont.

Chernobyl and Waste: the two media darlings of the fight against this amazing method of power generation.

Certainly governments at all levels need to consider and cultivate alternative energy resources before it’s too late for all of us. Virginia Furlong, Pickering

Finally, something that makes sense came out of Mr. McGuinty. Since thermonuclear power is not available yet, nuclear power is the best way to proceed. Scary stories about Chernobyl are way out of proportion mostly because it happened so long ago in a power plant with different and older design than would be used here in Ontario. Peter Smith, Toronto

No, absolutely not! Nuclear power is neither efficient nor cost-effective. Billions are poured into these nuclear fiascos only to become toxic waste dumps after 40 years. Carol Auld, Toronto

Huh? What is this person talking about?

Wouldn't want to meet the troll under this one...

2006-04-25T16:38:00.000-04:00

The Millau viaduct is part of the new E11 expressway connecting Paris and Barcelona and features the highest bridge piers ever constructed. The tallest is 240 meters high and the overall height will be an impressive 336 meters, making this the highest bridge in the world.

Happy Birthday, Lilibet

2006-04-21T09:59:00.000-04:00

From the Tronto Star, by Lynda Hurst

Did you know that Philip (and only Philip) calls her 'Lilibet'? That her `dorgis' are the result of a corgi's tryst with her sister's dachshund? Here are 54 facts about the Queen, one for each year of her reign.

1) Elizabeth Alexandra Mary was born in London on April 21, 1926, at 17 Bruton St., in a house that no longer exists. She was regarded as a peripheral princess at the time because her Uncle David was slated to become the next monarch.

2) When Elizabeth was 2, Winston Churchill noted: "She has an air of authority and reflectiveness astonishing in an infant."

3) In December 1936, the cozy, quiet life of the Duke and Duchess of York came to an end when Uncle David, the uncrowned Edward VIII, upped and abdicated. Elizabeth learned from a servant that she was now heir to the throne.

4) In 1939, the 13-year-old Elizabeth reportedly took one look at 18-year-old Philip Mountbatten (ne Schleiswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glucksburg) and fell irretrievably in love. The tall, blond, strikingly self-confident nephew of the exiled King of Greece was technically a prince but in reality a penniless naval lieutenant. A cousin of sorts, however, he is also descended from Queen Victoria.

5) Lilibet, as she was called in the family — though today only by Philip — spent the war years with her sister, Princess Margaret, at Windsor Castle. At 19, she joined the army's Auxiliary Territorial Service, becoming No. 230873 Second Subaltern Windsor.

6) As a child, her first governess later wrote, "she was the one with the temper, but it was always under control."
"Dash it!" was, and is, the Queen's version of an expletive.

7) "Peggy," her first horse — well, Shetland pony — sparked what became a lifelong passion for horse breeding and racing. The Queen reads the Racing Post over breakfast.

8) On Nov. 20, 1947, in Westminster Abbey, Elizabeth married Philip, newly created Duke of Edinburgh by her father, King George VI. Charles was born a year later, on Nov. 14, 1948.

9) The 18 months "the Edinburghs" spent at a navy base on Malta in the early 1950s are said to have been the happiest of their lives. Like the other young wives, Lilibet could go shopping, get her hair done, eat out. When the couple returned to England, her cousin Pamela Hicks bleakly remarked: "They're putting the bird back in its cage."

10) She and Philip were at a safari lodge in Kenya on Feb. 6, 1952, when word came that her father had died and Elizabeth, at 25, was now Queen.
According to a former private secretary: "She was wearing blue jeans that day, with windblown hair, looking wonderful." She was never seen in blue jeans again.

11) Elizabeth II was crowned June 2, 1953, in a solemn, centuries-old ceremony in Westminster Abbey. The Toronto Daily Star likened the spectacle to "some gorgeous tableau torn out of the pages of history. Through it all moved a small slender figure, surrounded by so many, yet so very much alone."

12) Elizabeth took swiftly and surely to the job. Over the years, she has met weekly with 10 prime ministers — from Winston Churchill, who had an old man's crush on her, to Tony Blair, who was only a month old when she was crowned.

13) When his wife first became Queen, the strong-willed Philip went through a painful period of adjustment. "I'm just an amoeba, a bloody amoeba," he famously said on one occasion. "I'm just a lodger," on another.
14) The Queen has never had the easy, effervescent charm of her mother and apparently is used to overhearing people mutter, "Isn't she looking cross?" Then again, when she was young and a member of the family was caught smiling in a photo, her grandmother, Queen Mary, was known to say, "Too awful! Smiling!"

15) Elizabeth II is England's 40th monarch since William the Conqueror. She is Canada's head of state, officially titled: "Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God, of the United Kingdom, Canada and Her other Realms and Territories Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith."

16) She has visited Canada 23 times. We once presented her with two live beavers, but Brazil one-upped us with a jaguar and a pair of sloths.

17) She sat for the first of 139 official portraits at age 7. The latest is by Australian singer Rolf Harris, now a TV star in Britain, but best known for his 1950s hit tune, "Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport."

18) She regards her clothes as costumes, props for the royal show, requiring only that they're brightly coloured so she can be seen. Weights sewn into her hems keep skirts from flying up. Only in private does she, occasionally, wear trousers.

19) Her never-changing hairstyle results from the need for continuity of appearance on currency and stamps. She feels it works with hats and tiaras and, of course, crowns, of which she has umpteen.

20) The Queen is believed to possess the world's most valuable private collection of jewels, not including the Crown Jewels, which belong to the state.

21) She is an excellent mimic; pompous or nerve-wracked dignitaries are a favourite target.

22) The making of a 1969 BBC documentary on the family's day-to-day life was constantly interrupted by Philip shouting, "Keep those bloody cameras away from the Queen."
Some analysts think the rot of media intrusion into the private lives of the royals commenced with its airing.

23) The first royal walkabout — to allow ordinary folk, not just officials, to meet and greet her — took place in 1970 in Australia.

24) She has owned more than 30 corgis, most of them descendants of Susan, an 18th-birthday gift (which she took on her honeymoon). The current five are Monty, Emma, Linnet, Holly and Willow. She also has four "dorgis," descendants of a brief liaison between one of the corgis and Princess Margaret's dachshund, Pipkin.

25) A former lady-in-waiting to the Queen Mother told biographer Sarah Bradford that, with Elizabeth, "it really is hard work to sustain a conversation if you have no views about vets and flea collars."

26) Cecil Beaton, who photographed the royals on numerous occasions, found Elizabeth stiff and unsympathetic, Philip downright rude. But then, the delicate Beaton was easily offended.

27) "It's too early yet for tea" — what the Queen said to a man she thought was her footman early on a summer morning in 1982. Instead, it was a barefoot intruder, Michael Fagan, who'd snuck into the palace during the night. All hell broke loose when the story leaked out and palace security was tightened.

28) Or so they thought. We know, however, that for breakfast the Queen serves herself cornflakes or oats from Tupperware containers because in 2003, a Daily Mirror reporter worked undercover as a footman at Buck House (a.k.a. Buckingham Palace) for two months and gleefully reported all in the paper.

29) Queen Mary — whose stern Hanoverian facial features Elizabeth inherited and whom she has come to resemble even more in old age — once wrote approvingly to a friend: "She will always know her own mind. There is something very steadfast and determined in her."

30) "The world admires her at arm's length," noted biographer Robert Lacey. "That does not displease her because that is where she wants the world."

31) "I wonder if I might have a second glass of wine?" she once asked when lunching with her mother. "Is that wise?" the Queen Mum smilingly replied. "You know you have to reign all afternoon."

32) Cellphones are banned from state banquets since some luckless functionary's starting ringing in the middle of one.

33) Elizabeth survived 1992, her "annus horribilis," with enigmatic faculties intact. No mean feat. It featured:
The leaked "Squidgy" tapes in which Princess Diana was heard growling to a passing fancy named James Hewitt: "The things I've done for that f---ing family."
Andrew Morton's book, Diana: Her True Story in Her Own Words, which spilled the royal beans.
The "Camillagate" phone calls in which Charles was heard wishing he was, heaven help us, his mistress's tampon.
A topless Duchess of York's toe-sucking holiday snapshots with her American "financial adviser."
The official separation of Charles and Diana.
And, to cap it all off, a fire at Windsor Castle.

34) Shortly after, a former private secretary told biographer Bradford: "If the Queen had taken half as much trouble about the rearing of her children as she has about the breeding of her horses, the royal family wouldn't be in such a mess." (She also breeds racing pigeons, one of which, Sandringham Lightning, was a champion cross-channel racer.)

35) At year's end, the Queen made an uncharacteristic appeal for sympathy:
"I am quite sure that most people try to do their jobs as best they can, even if the result is not always entirely successful. There can be no doubt that criticism is good for people, but scrutiny can be just as effective if it is made with a touch of gentleness, good humour and understanding."

36) She never gives interviews but launched a Buck House website (http://www.royal.gov.uk/) in 1997.

37) Philip has been described by biographers as "more loyal than faithful." But persistent rumours of his dalliances have never yielded evidence, let alone proof. (And, boy, has Fleet Street tried.)

38) The Queen did not have to pay income tax until 1993.

39) Elizabeth is head of the royal family, but Philip has run the private family. Neither was regarded as an ideal parent. His favourite child is said to be Anne. For her, it's said to be Andrew, once known as "Randy Andy," now the Duke of York.

40) When Philip pays her a compliment, Lilibet's face "lights up like a child's, like she's been given the world," says Bradford. A courtier confided: "They're like Darby and Joan now. It's very sweet really."

41) As well as 88 swans on the Thames, the Queen technically owns all the whales, sturgeon and dolphins within a three-mile radius of Britain. They're known as "Fishes Royal."

42) "Isn't it marvellous?" she mouthed to Prince Philip in April 1982, during the rain-soaked repatriation ceremony for Canada's constitution.

43) "No, we haven't seen her Miss Piggy Face once" — the royal press secretary, agreeing with a reporter that Elizabeth looked extremely happy the entire Constitution weekend.

44) Big trouble. What that press secretary got into back home for revealing the family's phrase for the Queen's expression when she's royally ticked off.

45) Three of the four royal children have divorced. Prince Edward has been married to Sophie Rhys Jones since 1999.
The Queen appears to have taken a liking to this daughter-in-law, after a rough patch in the early years, when Sophie insisted on working outside "the firm."

46) After the shocking death of Princess Diana in August 1997, the Queen resented being pressured to return from Balmoral Castle in Scotland to London.
She did so reluctantly, but firmly refused to let the palace flag fly at half-mast. A rare mistake. After a huge public outcry, she finally went on TV and paid insightful tribute to her former daughter-in-law: "I, for one, think there are lessons to be drawn from Diana's life and from the extraordinary and moving reaction to her death."

47) The following spring, as part of a new common-touch charm offensive, she visited a pub for the first time. Then, as Queen Mary presumably rolled over in her grave, she turned up at a McDonald's (no, not to eat).

48) "She does look rather used" — the Queen's only known comment on Camilla Parker Bowles during the long years of the latter's mistress-hood. The relationship has markedly improved since Camilla and Charles finally wed last April.

49) The "Party at the Palace" celebrating her 2002 Golden Jubilee came complete with laser lights and Brian May of the rock group Queen playing on the Buck House roof. It remains a mystery how they got the actual Queen to agree to the event, but she did and gamely attended it. "Her Majesty's a pretty nice girl, but she doesn't have a lot to say," sang Paul McCartney that night. Maybe not in public, Paul.

50) She talked daily on the phone to "darling mummy" and sister Margaret throughout their lives. Both died in the Golden Jubilee year.

51) Diligent as ever, the Queen still reads all cabinet papers and committee reports contained in the famous red boxes, sees Parliament's agenda in advance, and gets copies of all foreign and Commonwealth memoranda.

52) In a rare public comment about her life, Elizabeth once said: "In a way, I didn't have an apprenticeship. My father died much too young. It was all very sudden, taking and making the best job you can. It was a question of just maturing into what you are doing and accepting that here you are, and it's your fate."

53) She is the only "Majesty" in the House of Windsor; the rest are Royal Highnesses.

54) She will never abdicate, as the Prince of Wales knows.

Governmentium

2006-04-04T12:07:00.000-04:00

The science of governance:

A major research institution has announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science -- "governmentium." It has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons and 111 assistant deputy neutrons for an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called "morons" that are further surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like subparticles called "peons." Governmentium has no electrons and is therefore inert. It can be detected, however, since it impedes every reaction it comes into contact with. A tiny amount of governmentium can take a reaction that normally occurs in seconds and slow it to the point where it take days. Governmentium has a normal half life of three years. It doesn't decay but "re-organizes," a process where assistant deputy neutrons and deputy neutrons change places. This process actually causes it to grow as, in the confusion, some morons become neutrons, thereby forming isodopes.
This phenomenon of "moron promotion" has led to some speculation that governmentium forms whenever sufficient morons meet in concentration,
forming "critical morass." Researchers believe that with governmentium, the more you re- organize, the morass you cover.

Another Nugget of Wisdom

2006-03-30T10:59:00.000-05:00

Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

Author unknown.

2006-03-28T11:23:00.000-05:00

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints.

We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, hate too often.We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years.

We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice.

We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships.

These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throw away morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill.

It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.

Remember, spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Roots of Violence - Gandhi

2006-03-28T11:11:00.000-05:00

Wealth without work
Pleasure without conscience
Knowledge without character
Commerce without morality
Science without humanity
Worship without sacrifice
Politics without principles

Photos

2006-03-27T14:06:00.000-05:00

If I could draw your attention to the side bar, I have posted some recent photos, including Alabama, for your viewing pleasure.

Happy Spring!

2006-03-24T10:06:00.000-05:00

I often check in on Warren Kinsella's blog (It is linked on the side bar). He never has trouble holding my attention, and since he's giving it away, I thought I'd take the opportunity to post Warren's blog-entry from yesterday. After this taste, maybe he'll make it into your 'favourites' too.
March 23, 2006 – This won’t be in the paper this morning. I’m doing something else for tomorrow. Anyone who wants to use it somewhere, it’s yours, gratis. And, by the way, THE WAR IN IRAQ IS ILLEGAL.
What does a nation at war look like? Looking at the American media, it's hard to say.
Precisely three years after the commencement of the war in Iraq, on a cloudy, cool day threatening rain, the Fox Network affiliate in Atlanta offers up three fools to dissect the meaning of the conflict that has killed more than 2,300 Americans and more than 30,000 Iraqis. The blonde one in the middle says: "Some would say things are better, some would say things are worse. But one thing is for sure - a lot has happened in the past three years!"
Her co-hosts sombrely nod at this profound assessment. Fox producers then cut away to recent night time footage of Baghdad being bombed. They superimpose the greenish images of destruction with the headline: "REBUILDING IRAQ." To call any of it Orwellian is a cliché, but apt.
Three years later, though, it is actually true: a lot has happened. Along with the thousands dead on all sides - along with the many more thousands grievously wounded, the $6 billion (U.S.) spent monthly by the Pentagon, and an Iraq sliding inexorably towards the abyss of civil war - George W. Bush's pre-emptive action against Saddam Hussein's fictional weapons of mass destruction has profoundly altered the configuration of many lives, in Iraq and the United States. But what has it done to the spirit of Americans? What do they feel about it, three years on?
Pollsters sometimes suggest they have the best insights into these things, and there certainly were no shortage of polls to dissect this past weekend, as America grimly contemplated the third anniversary of the war, and as puny crowds gathered in cities around the globe to protest it. One Gallup survey, headlined on the front page of a copy of USA Today picked up on a Saturday at a convenience store in south-western Florida, finds that - by a margin of nearly three-to-one - Americans say the impact of Bush's war on their lives has been negative. Sixty per cent, Gallup noted, said the war wasn't "worth it." Half admitted that they had even cried because of it.
Fox Network bimbos notwithstanding, some further insight into America's zeitgeist is found, perhaps, in the newspapers one can pick up along Interstate 75 - the highway that many Canadians, seeking Spring Break sun or Snowbird getaways, know well. Unscientific a survey as it may be, a reading of these U.S. newspapers tells the tale of a nation wrestling with despair, doubt and denial - and, here and there, no small amount of defiance, too. The breezy rightist jingoism that characterized much of the early coverage of the Iraq war is gone, however.
What is left in its place, even in Republican-red Southern states, is a lot like what one sees in the lead editorial of USA Today, strenuously condemning Bush's pre-emptive strike: "[Iraq] was a blunder of historic proportions that has made Americans less, not more, safe...[the cost] in U.S. lives, money and credibility has been incalculable." In all, seven outstanding pieces of journalism about Iraq are found in the newspaper. Wartime boosterism is conspicuously absent. There is anger for George W. Bush and his defence chief, Donald Rumsfeld. But for the troops themselves, limitless pride.
Reading some newspapers, it almost seems as if the war is a Hollywood construct. In the Tampa Tribune and the Fort Myers News-Press, plenty of front page stories about golf or abortion pills, but about the war? Little or nothing. In a modest obituary in the latter, there is a dry recounting of the tragic death of a 27-year-old local man killed in an attack near Ar Ramadi earlier in the week - and an equally sterile Associated Press wire story about an anti-insurgent drive near Samarra. The coverage seems routine and disinterested, even when a local boy dies. It is almost as if the newspaper's editors do not want to remind their readers about it. That seems likely.
The fabled New York Times, picked up further along the I-75 on the same day, is not much better. A man who falsely claimed to be the victim of brutality at Abu Ghraib prison - the one seen in the infamous photograph, standing on a box, hooded and electrical wires dangling from his arms - merits front-page coverage, and a tortuous, self-flagellating Editor's Note on page two (the post-Jayson Blair Times remains jittery, it seems, about its journalistic credibility). But inside the newspaper of record? Not much about Iraq on this day.
In the pages of the St. Petersburg Times, further up the road, there can be found an unsettling profile of a 48-year-old man who actually enlisted to avenge the death of his 22-year-old son, killed by a roadside bomb in Baghdad two years ago. "I don't really have love for the Muslim people," says the man, who says he is a Christian missionary. "It's hard to love people who hate you." In the local section, a sad story about a local 29-year-old killed in a related conflict that Canadians know increasingly well, in Afghanistan.
Further north, on Sunday morning in Atlanta, the Journal-Constitution fills page after page with exemplary stories about Iraq - including one that describes, in detail, how the war has shattered the lives of five Iraqis. The U.S. has stayed too long, concludes one Iraqi father, whose wife, daughter and father-in-law were killed in a mortar attack. "We had great expectations but all those expectations have been destroyed," he says.
On the same day, in the Chattanooga Times Free Press, the front page carries a moving tale about a small-town Georgia Marine, Lance Cpl. Josh Scott, whose death left behind a 21-year-old widow and a six-month-old daughter. Says the young mother, recalling that her husband knew his daughter for only a few short weeks: "There's never going to be a day that goes by that I'm not going to remind her and tell her how much he loved her."
Reading it all, it would be manifestly unfair of any Canadian to suggest that Americans are remotely gung-ho about the war in Iraq. If their journalism is any indication, and it usually is, the people of the United States no longer approve of it. Even for the editorial boards with a Republican tilt, you can observe the growing sense of dread. But, as with Vietnam, Americans are hesitant to say so out loud - because too many young Americans have lost their lives to now dismiss it all as just a waste. It is a dilemma Canadians will increasingly face, as Afghanistan unfolds in the weeks and months ahead.
The last word goes, as it often does, to the Sunday New York Times, picked up at a coffee shop along the Interstate in Ohio. In it, someone has written a fiery editorial about what the newspaper calls "the Iraq debacle." The newspaper proclaims: "The last three years have shown how little our national leaders understood Iraq, and have reminded us how badly attempts at liberation from the outside have gone in the past.
"While we are distracted by picking up the pieces, there is no time to imagine what the world might be like if George Bush had chosen to see things as they were, instead of how he wanted them to be three years ago. History will have more time to consider the question."
The same goes for the despairing American people, and the journalists who serve them; the same goes for the United States, the country that does not seem to be at war, but surely is. They will also consider the question, and pick up the pieces.
There will be more stories to be written, up and down the Interstate, and far too many obituaries written about young men and women. And there will be plenty of time to consider the question, and the quagmire, which now bears the name Iraq.

What's Making News...

2006-03-16T15:14:00.000-05:00

Cattle wander through Ayr streets
Carol-Ann Nugent, Cambridge
(Mar 16, 2006)

A professional rodeo crew converged on the town of Ayr Monday to round up 50 cattle that escaped from a farm and made their way to the downtown.
Several witnesses called Waterloo Region Police to report that cattle were walking on sidewalks and crossing roadways. While police controlled traffic tie-ups caused by the wandering cattle, the rodeo crew from Walkerton came with horses and bloodhounds to guide the cattle back home.
Ten of the cattle remained missing overnight Monday but were retrieved by the rodeo team on Tuesday morning. Police urged motorists and pedestrians to be cautious around the roaming farm animals.
"There haven't been any incidents relating to it, so we're grateful for that," said police spokesperson Olaf Heinzel. "It's certainly an unusual set of events."
Heinzel said it was unclear how the cattle, worth $45,000, escaped from a gated area of their North Dumfries Township farm.

More Tales from the Dirty South

2006-03-14T12:56:00.000-05:00

for those of you just joining us, please read the post entitled "Soap Opera Weekly" before continuing with "More Tales from the Dirty South".
Now, where was I? Next up on the billing...

Hammerhead Part II, Michigan

This guy carries a lot of anger. luckily, he rides bikes and to my knowledge has little interest in gun collecting. He is almost always the winner in his class leading the entire pack all the way around the course. however, his class is "level 5" and there are five levels and level 1 is the top. so basically, he is king shit because he doesn't take the coach's advice, he trains by his spedometer instead of by his heartrate and has no style at all except "monster mash". also, he rides his road bike with a camelback which is a stylistic no-no in the world of the roadie. he seemed to have eyes for the stripper and was very into her "helpless-play-dumb"-ness despite her husband and his girlfriend. i suspect they have both made a mess of things by now since they are still in alabama in the hot sun and spandex. who could resist? anyway, he is in the category of people who need just a little more. when we got back from our ride, he'd be sure to go out again just so he could get 100miles/day, and we could all be impressed (once he even went in street clothes after a 5-hour ride whilst eating an apple and wearing no helmet). i am sure he has a huge johnson.

Sparky, Tennessee

Sparky is a boy not yet a man. At 20, what can you expect. he laughed after every sentence, and never did make his move on Delta Delta Delta (more on her later). He defends Ford Mustangs: proof that he is a southern boy. He has no intention on racing, so he informs coach Aldo, although he does own a Scott CR-1 which will run you about $4000. He also brought a mountain bike and back-up road bike, just in case. He would shower in cologne in the morning for Delta Delta Delta and that got on my nerves. I am not one to hide my true feelings, and hence, we didn't really get along. but arguing with him is like kicking the dog

Delta Delta Delta, Philadelphia/South Carolina

Delta Delta Delta will help ya help ya help ya so goes the saying. unless you're sparky. Despite his best efforts, this sweet college girl managed to thwart all advances by the southern lad described previous. we shared a room (myself, the stripper, delta delta delta and mrs. know it all) and it was unofficially shared with Sparky who would stay up late "talking to Delta", or so he would brag to the boys in his room. (one of which was mine, hence the inside scoop). Anyway, another 19-year old bike racer with her whole career ahead of her came down for her spring break instead of driving to florida with overweight sorority girls with the beach name painted on the rear windshield (oh the drive home was interesting...). She was adorably clueless about bicylce mechanics [what's a cassette?] and claims "Bicycles for Dummies" should be dedicated to her.

The Kid, Windsor

The kid came down on a plane from Windsor and works with Aldo at home. I liked him because he was quiet, he trains smart and respects Aldo. sometimes he was a little bit 15--but that's his age so we'll let it go. but when he, Delta, the Stripper and Sparky got together, I usually had to find something else to do far away as there was usually candy and hyper-activity involved.

The Hosers, Brantford

Three racers from Canada, eh? joined us on week two replacing the firemen. Aldo called them the three stooges. I have never met a more typical "Canadian". The way they spoke, it was sometimes hard for me to understand, and I am from Bruce County! Anyway, they were a good lot and made me laugh a lot. Once, Larry was racing with Moe and Curly, and his chain skipped off. the bike responded by going 45 degrees down left, then all the way over to the right, and somehow, he stayed upright. and i exhaled. it was a close call, and don't tell Aldo anyone was sprinting.

Then, some new characters arrived to spice up the last couple of days.

Hammerhead Part III, Maine

And I thougth Part II was bad. this guy just added bad energy to the camp from the moment he arrived. it appears he shows up solely to give Aldo a hard time. He argues about methods of training (believe it or not kids, but in order to be fast, you have to go slow) and figures that since he paid, he can just do whatever he wants. The hosers said it best: if you want to be an asshole, do it during YOUR camp. Don't just come along and wreck our camp, eat our food and turn our training rides into races. on the last day, just before I left, I had it out with him supervised by coach Aldo. I don't think he is coming back again.

Sidekick; the Strong Silent Type, Maine

He arrived with Hammerhead III. They shared his vehicle to get to camp and apparently he wisely would not allow HHIII to take the wheel. I could tell that he was not the same man as HHIII and I hope he has a good week despite the drama HHIII stirs up by constantly flapping his gums.

The Good Son

We got back from our last ride and a 16 year old had just arrived in his parents car from New Hampshire. They let him do the drive alone and in their vehicle. what is UP with that?

Last but not least:

The Happy Couple
Totally professional however most likely mistaken for total snobs. Kept themselves to themselves. You wouldn't see them tanning on the lawn because they would be using sports massage to speed recovery. You wouldn't see them doing their nails because they would be cleaning the bike and prepping for the next day's ride. You wouldn't see them on a second ride because rest is more important in the afternoons. You wouldn't see them smuggling junk food into the camp because they would be taking a nap. They did the camp the way it was meant and reaped the benefits. of course, that snobby couple is half me, half Jerome.

And now, a look at some of the locals

Scott, the Tri-athlete

Scott met Aldo at their local bike club meeting which Aldo attended. He asked Aldo to meet with him and talk about training, and since Aldo can't say no to cycling, Scott came by a couple times and even rode with us twice as well. I liked Scott because he respected Aldo, and he had a pretty bike. Also, I secretly love the accent--there is something really friendly about it.

Cedric, the Grocer

Cedric is the unofficial mayor of Ramer. He is a huge man and used to play football for "Crimson Tide", the State university. His daughter is there now he says, and he always has a story or a joke when you visit his store.

Brittany, the neighbour

Brittany is 16 and at first she was real quiet. She is in that awkward time which features glasses and braces and baggy sweaters. She came over to help Aldo while Renee was away for $7/hour. Although many times, she would end up just chatting with the campers or watching TV with us until her dad came to get her. I get the feeling that in a town like Ramer, you don't get that many oppportunities to talk to people. So once she got going, it was hard to get her back to work. She told us about her undying love for Axel Rose and how she planned to drive to his house in california to see if he wanted to start a band with her. She plays bass, she says. She told us about her aspirations for "when I grow up" which include but are not limited to:

a doctor
a racer car driver
an astronaut
a monster truck driver
a waitress

Although she has no plans to go to school, she says. Currently, she attends a highschool where the students work as hard as they can to torture their teachers, by the sounds of it. but perhaps that's every school. Renee says she is going to try to get her out on the bike which would be great for her I think.

And I think that's it for cast. now for a little more plot.

During the two weeks I was away, I finished three books. I would recommend The Curious incident of the Dog in the Night time as it was my favourite of the three.

We went out for dinner one night to the Little Red Schoolhouse which features authentic southern cooking. basically, you just take whatever is good and wholesome and add grease and fat. For example, Chicken: Bread it and fry it. Lima Beans: Add bacon. Squash Caserole: use butter in a 1:1 ratio and cover with cheese. You get the picture. it was a nice meal and we went there at the end of the first week. The place is a destination in itself. President Bush I was there and his picture is on the wall with the owner. he is wearing a sweater that says "United States of America" and "George Bush", in case you didn't know. apparently, he has a buddy who takes him fishing in the area. There are old maps of the area and the place actually used to be a school house so there are some artefacts from those days as well. every US president is picture on the wall.

In Alabama, there is a thing called White Dirt. Which is dirt, that is white, that you eat. it tastes like chalk and looks like it too but it apparently contains mysterious healing powers that help with fertility and other voodoo type things. google it.

I think I am all Alabama-blogging-d out now. Let me close in saying that it was a fabulous two weeks, highly entertaining and that next year I suspect TV crews will be there ready to witness the first campers voted out of state. I got some really valuable training done and i can't wait to take the new me out onto the race course. I will certainly be back again. By the end, Jerome, Aldo Renee and myself were like peas and carrots and our good bye was sad. Jerome and I packed up that little integra with more than I thought was possible and rolled off down the road back towards the great white north. We decided to do the trip in two days on the way back to play it safe. On the way out of Alabama, we narrowly missed two potentially devasting car accidents. one had a blow out in the left lane, swerved into the median, bounced off and spun across the highway without hitting any other vehicles and coming to a stop safely on the shoulder. that was about four cars up from us. Then, just down the road, a transport lost his load on a steep downhill and did the exact same thing. it stopped traffic for a long time and we had to watch college girls flirt with college boys who were sitting on top of their SUV smoking cigars. the girls decided to giggle and take a pee break to get their attention. it was obnoxious. that one happened almost in front of us as well, so we were happy to have avoided incident once again. a wait was no trouble.

We stayed the night in Kentucky somewher between Louisvillle and Cincinnatti. The hotel man was very nice and gave us a room for 45 dollars and then told us where we could get some steaks at 10pm. the weather was freakish all evening with lightening dancing all across the sky and tornadoes to the west. that night there was a horrific thunderstorm and the rain continued all the way into ohio the next day. For breakfast, I had the famed "biscuits and gravy" and it was disgusting. Subway for lunch again and we were home for dinner.

Jerome's mom was kind enough to leave some goodies in his fridge for us, so we ate, went to bed, woke up and said hello to reality.

Soap Opera Weekly

2006-03-13T12:23:00.001-05:00

Hello and apologies for my extended blog-less-ness! I have just returned from cycling camp held in the Dirty South: Ramer, Alabama. Google Map it.
This post will probably be long, disjointed, unorganized and dare I say, entertaining.

Jerome and I drove the 18 hour journey two Fridays ago. We started out of Toronto at about 6am and made it to Ramer just before midnight Alabama time. Both of us were completely kooky and hopped up on ju jubes and "rockstar" beverage we picked up from a late night gas station in Alabama somewhere. [The clerk told us all about her life story and how she cleans houses, how her kids drive her crazy and about how she had worked as that clerk for ten years, in a southern drall so foreign to me I thought (in my exhausted-to-the-point-of-intoxication) she must be putting it on. There were bumper stickers there claiming "I love my truck", "I love my gun" and other racist/shocking/hilarious slogans. you could buy boiled peanuts there too, but I passed.]

We drove down through Michigan (horrible roads, ugly countryside), Ohio (flat as hell), Kentucky (beautiful countryside, gorgeous weather and rolling "mountains"), Tennessee (short and flat shaped state with a good look at Nashville) and finally Alabama (home of the most beautiful roads ever due to extensive "make work" projects. They use good ol' ashphalt.)

At the side of the road, they have "rest stops" which are just quick drive in and out bathrooms with some tourist info and vending machines. so handy! the roadside convenience centres like we have in canada are nowhere to be seen. however, it is clear that the US is built on the automobile as all along the way these little "oasises" would open up having three or four hotels, three or four (or more) gas stations (selling cheap gas that is cleaner and better than Canadian gas) and anything you could want to eat, so long as it is fast.

I am through with Subway for a little while I think.

Anyway, the driving itself was pretty good. I took the first pull and got us out of Canada. This was my fifth time driving standard transmission. Things were a little more stressful for me this time though as it was only the second time I had driven my boyfriend (the car guy)'s car, and we hit a snow storm along the way through Ontario. I prevailed! I never stalled the car and only came close to mortally wounding the transmission (i missed 4th on an exit and went from 5th to 2nd which the car didn't like at all, and it told me so.).

One thing I have to say about the States though: there sure are a lot of people, and they are all out driving. rarely was there the open stretches of road like we have in Canada. however, I think I should give credit where its due: americans are better drivers than canadians. they know the passing lane is for passing. They don't do anything sketchy like swerve, wobble, land change for no apparent reason etc etc. maybe i should just compare them to toronto drivers. anyway, it was a nice drive.

except for the directions.

We used the CAA's "Triptik" to get down there. I would not recommend that to anyone. It chose a silly border crossing adding time to an already long trip (i think Windsor makes the most sense...but it told us to go to Sarnia), it gave opposite-to-truth directions through Nashville, where it seems every interstate in the country converges and you have to pick your way through them to link to the next. The triptik literally said "go left" and the road signs said "go right". You had to be there. And then, the icing on the cake, it left us stranded on route 331 in Alabama in the middle of the night at the end of 18 hours on the road. The directions stopped short of telling us to get off 331 and get into Ramer. That added a good 40 minutes on dark roads with deer waiting to jump into us. thanks triptik! without a chance sighting of a small sign, we could have wound up in Florida. Moral of the story: just buy a road atlas.

So we arrive! the whole camp is quiet, and the lights are out. guess we should have called, but luckily, the back door was open so in we went. Coach Aldo and wife Renee met us as we clambered in. They put us to bed and there we stayed until 10am the next morning.

The first day it rained harder than I have seen in a long while. It was raining so hard we didn't even want to unpack the car and bike riding was a long way from my mind. Well--not that far. At cycling camp, you better be sure you like cycling because all the pictures on the wall are of cyclists and bikes. all the magazines available are about cycling. All the dvds in the entertainment centre are presentations of important races such as the tour, the giro and the amstel gold. all the books are biographies about lance armstrong. i'll be honest, at first I was a little overwhelmed. finally, i couldn't take it anymore--i had to get out of there else risk being sick of cycling without even taking a pedal stroke. so we unpacked the car (by we, i mean Jerome went out in the rain and transferred things to the covered porch where I carried them inside), set up bikes, and then headed to "the store" to get some lunch.

Ramer is a very small town with a population noted as 2000. However, it feels like the population is more like 200. It has a store which is comparable to a miniature walmart in that it sells everything. back in the day that would be called the general store I guess. There is a library with four computers, a bank, a health centre (with doctor's, not fitness equipment) post office, antique store which is open an hour a week on wednesdays and a so-called hardware store which has a stock of about 30 items. also a sheriff's office (which is actually his house with a sign out front). you can walk around the entire town in about 7 minutes.

The town thinks the cycling camp is a good thing on the whole. We are invited to church (Ramer has two), they asked us to be in the Christmas parade, and they think we wear funny suits.

all around Ramer, there are some of the best cycling roads I've seen. The state is poor relative to other states, and there are a lot of make-work projects provided. So somewhere in alabama at all times there is someone laying down brand new blacktop on old roads which see about 20 cars a day and very little snow. almost all the roads around Ramer are like riding on butter or ribbons.

there are some bumpy ones, but they only make you appreciate the smooth ones more. Coach Aldo found Ramer the hard way, by looking, and it took him 16 years of zigzagging southern states looking for the perfect balance of good roads, weather, and hospitality. Sunday was our first foray into spring training.

We rode everyday and followed a daily schedule that looked something like this:

7:45 breakfast of fresh fruits, grains and waffles
8:00 morning exercises and stretching
9:00 Ride
Lunch after ride
6:45 dinner (everything from steak to lasagna, and all delicious)
8:00 cycling discussion re race tactics, time trialling, and season scheduling

Rides usually lasted about 4 hours and were approximately 100km long.

Here is a look at my numbers for camp:

rides: 12
hours: 49
kilometres: 1200
calories: 17,872 (31 Big Macs, or 436 Timbits)

We were there for two weeks and took one day's rest to head into Montgomery and see what that's all about. I got some new underwear at Victoria's Secret, some Zout stain remover from Walmart, and Jerome got some video games and then we decided we'd rather be doing nothing at camp. Walmart, I should mention, was collossal. It had everything. Full grocery store, garage, home decoration, electronics, sports and retail. it was mind boggling and i had to get the hell outta there lest I get dizzy and fall over.

In Montgomery, the cool thing to do is to drive a shit-to-mediocre vehicle, but to swap off the wheels for something twice as big in diameter and swap the rims for CHROME. Ford Mustangs are the Honda civics of the south.

We listened to the local radio to see what that was about. the ads said to "buy north american trucks. Do the right thing. Don't get Japanese tin cans." There was also a compeition on called "war of the roses". The girlfriend is supposed to call in and the DJ then calls her boyfriend on threeway but the boyfriend doesnt' know his girlfriend is in any way involved. the Dj tells him he has complimentary roses to deliver to whoever the boyfriend wants, but if he doesn't say his girlfriend's name, then she doesn't get the roses, he doesn't get the roses and a whole lot of trouble heads his way.

I don't think there is much else to say about Montgomery. I didn't do anything of historic value which is only ever disappointing when you get back. however, at the time, I was pretty tired, so walking around playing tourist was secondary to the primary goal of becoming a lean-mean-cycling machine. mission accomplished.

So lets talk about cycling then. First of all, I was pleasantly surprised to discover that everything Jerome told me about looking like a pro, relaxed and powerful on the bike was backed up by a coach I have immense respect for. Turns out it wasn't just boyfriend talk. In this respect, the camp was a great great great success as the connection I made with Coach Aldo will prove very valuable I am sure. He has 46 years of cycling experience to share which will save me time and energy avoiding mistakes. Plus, Aldo has got to be one of the best humans beings I have ever met. He gives unconditionally with no thought for himself. The camp is his hobby and I suspect that with the fees so low, and the grocery bill so high (cyclists are eaters, what can i say?) he is barely making ends meet. He doesnt' believe you should pay for a coach, but instead, that you take what you learn and give it back to cycling so that the sport continues to grow. I admire him a great deal, respect him even more, and I am delighted that he wants to work with me throughout the season. Plus he is damn determined; at 64 he is out riding with us almost everyday and it isn't like it is over for him after a week. Camps start in November and go until April or so. I don't know how he does it! The rides he's mapped out for us were beautiful and we would only rarely see cars so they were also very safe.

Interesting things I saw on rides:

drunken man with no teeth dancing with a 26-er sloshing in his hand--looked like a movie extra from an old-western.
deer carcass that moved each day from one side of the road to the other (probably the coyotes)
dogs dogs dogs. Gotta watch out for the dogs as they have a real hate on for cyclists and come running each time we pass. best defense is to squirt them with water or just plain yell. Once, one of our campers ran over one. he ran pretty fast the other direction yelping. accidents happen (and to be fair, most of them just want to play)
severed deer head--coyotes again i guess
an armadillo
a 5 minute-old lamb no bigger than the cats (more on them later)
three live deer running right out in front of us
the top secret military protected, helicoptor patrolled lockheed martin factory where they make Tomahawk cruise missiles.

I think that's about it. for the most part, it was rocks, trees and hills.

The title of this post is "Soap Opera Weekly" which is probably a bit of mystery until now. I've left the best for last: the campers. Aldo jokes that each week could be its own reality TV show and it is so true. The cast of characters that shows up is so mixed sometimes it is tough to take. I will profile a couple of the more memorable ones

Coach Aldo

Hard not to love. Italian Canadian who came to Canada at 6. Loud, loveable and totally devoted to cycling. He started the camp so that Renee, his wife, would have a place to train, then decided to share it with others too.

Renee

Lean, mean biking machine. began racing triathalons in 1989 and really kicked ass. she won 5th place in the Florida Iron Man in 2004 and now races bikes on the track with a pro women's team out of Windsor. Her rides were always on the fast side and she is super strong. also has two cats, Little Bear and Chi-chi.

Little Bear

5 month old all-grey kitten just learning about the world rescued from a hard life by the humane society and adopted by Renee. Great people cat, comes when called, does great tricks and will cuddle up and snooze with you just as soon as playfight you.

Chi-chi

Little Bear's teacher, friend, playmate and punching bag. Chi-chi used to be a very social cat but is now a killing machine. she has passed on her skills to little bear who practises all day long in the backyard. Both cats have to come in at night so the coyotes don't eat them--but I am convinced that in a fight with a coyote, Chi-chi would win. Chi-chi is also very vocal and sometimes it sounds like she is saying actual words.

The Doctor, Tennessee

Memorable quote: "Voltaire said that a good doctor needs only the ability to amuse his patients long enough for the body to heal itself". I would agree with Voltaire on that one. Doctor Dave also suggests that all the people on the government tab following the New Orleans disaster "should all be shot". So at first I thought he was a very educated enlightened man (following voltaire and all) but then i wasn' so sure.

The Three Firemen, Toronto

Three firemen showed up from Toronto and wouldn't you know it? they are from the hall that is responsible for rescuing me in case of emergency. Like all emergency workers I have met, they were laid-back funny guys always with a joke ready. They told me about life in the firehall, which includes waterballoon launchers, and were great to have around. I missed them on week two.

The Hammerhead part 1, Michigan

There is an understanding during spring training among most serious athletes that it is not the time to race. race season is the time to race. however, at every camp, in every group there is always at least one guy who feels the need for speed. Riding with him was like walking my dog. I'd do 5km, he'd do 25 going back and forth up the road, disrupting traffic, making us wonder where he is, and totally oblivious to any common sense.

The Go-Getter. Michigan

We had Kacey on camp one, a 19-year-old superstar with her whole career ahead of her. I was really impressed with how motivated she is and she's got the legs to back it up. She was also a huge help to Aldo as Renee has a real job as well that has her on the road for short periods, so Kacey somehow shared camp running duties and got in all the workouts.

The Bike Shop Guy, Michigan

Bob was a pleasure to have around as he is also a mechanic. his bike was scary light (lighter than the low limit on tour de France bikes) and he easily falls victim to the need for speed. He stayed the whole two weeks with us too.

Camp Week 2: Even more characters....

The Stripper, Ontario

Down for a month, I was surpised to find out I was rooming with a Dancer. The problem was, she seemed to have trouble turning off her professional front as she often went about scantily clad and spoke to all the men as a peeler does. She got a little tiring, I'll be honest. Her husband (!) stayed home to look after her "kids" (two dogs apparently). She hired a "trainer" who she spent a lot of time emailing but it sounds like she is paying him too much. She hadn't put any miles on her legs before coming, felt fatigued after riding a few days and wrote to him to ask his opinion. although the obvious answer is "you are just getting used to the riding" he told her she didn't have enouhg protein in her diet. This is just what she wants to hear because it is easier to take a pill isn't it? so in a week, when she feels better once her body has adjusted, she'll think it is because of the protein and give him a raise. frustrating but true. She carries around a binder in which she records every detail of her bodily functions. And I thought I was serious. Also, she uses the word "yummy". Memorable quote: "for every pound of seafood that ends up on your plate, there are a thousand pounds wasted". All week, she'd come up with little tidbits of information, but at least they came one line at a time. then there was...

The Know-it-all, Toronto

This guy has done too much reading. Instead of just a one-liner fact about tuna, he would delve into a deep conversation about some obscure topic he is sure to dominate as no one else has time to read 1000 pages on seafood production. He works for a software company and speaks in a way that is as irritating as it is condescending. He also believes that the carryon luggage limit of two bags is there just to make his life difficult and has nothing to do with safety. also, must have the last word. plus, he was the biggest man I had seen all week so the fact that he put down all that mileage was impressive.

The Know-It-All's Wife

If I didn't know they were married I would have never guessed. I would have thought that perhaps he was her butler instead. when she got tired, she'd make him go and block wind for her. she was the only one more opinionated than her husband but most of her opinions were about how she felt the dinner would be better cooked, the rides better run, or the training better accomplished. it got really tiring. she isn't a racer, but trains for one event in france that follows one stage of the tour. it is timed. she was the alpha-female and whenever she went to the front of the pack for a pull, she'd push the pace. then when the pace got pushed beyond what she could take, she "threw her toys" and quit. she reminded me a lot in appearance of the cat in my house, Chanel. on the last day, despite the complaining, she said she thought the camp was the best thing ever. le sigh.

pick up here tomorrow for more from the Dirty South. Same bat time, same bat channel.

Toilet Cleaning Instructions

2006-02-17T08:51:00.000-05:00

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.
2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. (You may need to stand on the lid.)
4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.
5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power-wash" and a "rinse".
6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.
8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.
9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.

Sincerely,
The Dog

American Idol: Build them up, then smack 'em down

2006-02-02T11:23:00.000-05:00

I watched the popular television show "American Idol" last night and found new respect for Kelly Clarkson. That girl made it through a lot of bullshit if you ask me. and her career is looking more promising everyday: I confess to singing along to all her songs on the radio. catchy tunes!
Anyway, what I really wanted to say is that although Kelly Clarkson is great, the show that produced her is horrible and Simon Cowell ought to be ashamed of himself. and Paula and Randy too. They line up thousands of hopefuls, march them around the cameras touting their dreams, and then the inevitable: the trio of people who have clearly forgot what it is to have a dream (since their's came true, thus putting them above it all) smash them down for the entertainment of the masses. They would argue they are doing these people favours by saving them from a life of failure and disappointment--and they find a million demeaning ways to express that point. But in reality, they are robbing these people of their hopes and dreams. Even if they don't come true, those are the things that daydreams are made of. The things that get you through the other tough stuff we all go through. I think it is awful to profit off their murder. After just watching the show, I have temporarily fallen into self-doubt myself: do my dreams sound so ridiculous if I were to put them on camera? Luckily, I have got over it, but I didn't have any national-TV embarrassment to get through. If you haven't got a spot for them in Hollywood, or wherever, just say "no thanks", Simon, you classless pig. If your harsh words are what make the show worth watching, save it for the people who get the nod. at least they will still have some pride left over after playing the role of "whipping boy." You attack innocents for entertainment. Shame on you. I won't watch again.

To bear, or not to bear...

2006-01-31T08:48:00.000-05:00

Granted, this is probably a little old in the news department by now, but I wanted it noted here nonetheless.
Canada has had a difficult time of naming a flag bearer at the 2006 Winter Olympics in Turino. This is a top honour is it not? Many deserving athletes were approached but most turned it down. The main reason cited was that the opening ceremonies were too close to their competitions and they feared it could interfere with their chances at medalling.

I am torn on the issue. As an athlete myself, I have thought about this a great deal and at the height of the "crisis" there was no shortage of reading from both sides of the fence. On one hand, I know how much of my day to day existence goes into my sport, and I am but a lowly "sport" rider. I can't imagine what it must be like to compete at the level of an Olympic athlete. So I can see the dilemma. I would probably be panicked or at least anxious the entire night standing out in the cold, staying up late for the occasion, the driving in traffic both directions and of course the increased media pressure. All of these things could lead to some sort of barrier between me and my performance: not enough rest, not focussed on my event, catch a cold etc etc. An Olympic dream is an enormous thing to have carried around for the 10 or so years it takes to train the body to this level. Some only get one chance at taking home a medal. And Canadians are hoping for medals too...but from this point of view, you just can't have it both ways. You can't ask your athletes to run around as media darlings and also make herculean efforts in their events.

On the other hand, what is the Olympics? Athletes are there to represent their country first and then themselves. If your country asks you to look after such a great honour as bearing the flag, part of me can see the side of the debate that says: "when they say jump, you ask how high". Afterall, if these are "carded" athletes, then essentially, they are on Canada's payroll. The government has helped them get as far as they have, and all they ask in return is a for a little walk around a stadium? Doesn't seem like such a big deal framed this way.

In the end, Danielle Goyette will bear the flag. I think she's a great choice. She is a hockey player, and was a member of our women's team in Salt Lake. Plus, she is damn happy to do it.

Down Under

2006-01-30T10:00:00.000-05:00

My sister moved to Australia a couple weeks ago in order to become a teacher. I spoke with her for the first time since she left this weekend and it sounds just peachy down under. She is hardly travelling alone, having brought along an entire culinary entourage (literally and fortunately) and the three of them look to be having a marvelous time. here are some preliminary photos, but there will be many more, I am sure, at their own blog. I have now linked it on the side bar as well, of course.

My Wild Weekend

2006-01-24T15:39:00.000-05:00

I went to Ottawa this weekend. I helped out a candidate I believe in where the race was tight. I went with some colleagues of mine, arriving around midnight on Friday. Then it was off for drinks before starting the day early on Saturday. If you have never done a campaign before, then I invite you to live vicariously through this post. Saturday morning, we awoke in Ottawa only to discover that it had snowed. The night before, footwear ranged from loafers to pumps and we walked home without a problem. the roads and sidewalks were bare and there was hardly a snowbank to speak of. Saturday morning, it was as though I'd been transported to the high arctic in my sleep, I kid you not. and the storm raged on! I took the car we'd rented to the campaign office to meet up with the team and collect our assignments. Visibility was nil and the roads were untouched by maintenance vehicles. I already mentioned it was a rental vehicle so you know there were no snow tires. it was a harrowing journey to say the least and i only lost control one time, thus ruining any chances of befriending a certain Ford Taurus. In case you are wondering, no we did not collide, but I am positive I raised his blood pressure a notch or two.
First things first, we went door to door dropping off an article we'd turned into a "drop piece" from the local paper which offered a ringing endorsement of our boy. The snow was blinding and the banks were knee deep by this time. we finished two or three polls in this way and then decided to call it quits for lunch. Drenched and frozen, we went back to the hotel to regroup. we had some lunch and then miraculously, the sun came out. The afternoon was more of the same in different parts of O-Town. I got lost, so that killed some time unfortunately. We didn't finish walking those two or three polls off until about 7pm. Walking around in the snow like that all day can sure get to a girl. Not to mention the electorate: Canadians are for the most part very polite voters, so I don't have any great stories on this subject for you really. One gentleman took my pamphlet and told me he'd throw it in the garbage. I told him I hope he recycles. that's about as good as it gets folks.
Sunday was "U-vote" day. We go door to door dropping information for voters on where their poll was to be located on Monday (hereafter referred to as "e-day"). Our team was exhausted still from the day before when we set out that morning in the -15C early hours. I am pretty sure we screwed up our poll numbers, thus informing consitutents to vote at the wrong location. luckily, it seems either one of two things happened. 1) We did in fact screw it up, but no one read the pamphlet so no harm was done. 2) We didn't screw it up afterall. I guess I'll never know. We dropped all those we could in about 4 polls in the morning before rewarding ourselves with a lunch from Swiss Chalet and then going out for another three polls (which I know we handed out properly...I finally woke up and checked). got a little turned around on the way back to the campaign office ended up on the road to Montreal, got back on track and took a break at Tim Horton's. A truly canadian moment, discussing politics in the local Timmy's.
That night, we ordered pizza from Ottawa's Pizza Shark, and watched Ghostbusters on Spike TV.
That brings us to E-day. Our team was split up among the Ottawa campaign team to different locations in the riding. I was in charge of two polls. I was given a list of ID'd voters (ie, people we had decided were on our side based on all the canvassing during the campaign) and the mission to make sure that they all made it to the polls that day. I am proud to say that I pulled every single one of my votes. I talked on the phone, I pounded the pavement and at the end of the day, I was there to count the votes. Wouldn't you know it? all our hard work paid off and our candidate got a seat.
Closed the evening with a party, then went home early to watch the news like the political geeks we are.
Made it back to Toronto in under 4.5 hours today. 4pm and I am ready for bed.
Cheers!

A New Home!

2006-01-15T10:49:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, I signed on for a new apartment in a great neighbourhood with all the amenities a girl could ask for and a price tag that fits perfectly. Here is what the surfaces will look like when it is finished. I will be the first occupant as it is currently only a floor plan. So excited!

Bad Spellers: Take Heart

2006-01-13T11:34:00.000-05:00

Reading through my regular message boards, I came across this post. It is officially the "thing I learned today". And its neat.

The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, syas it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?

Are you a genius?

2006-01-11T15:02:00.000-05:00

Take a Mensa Test! You have to work out what the letters mean. For example, "24 H in a D" = 24 Hours in a Day. According to MENSA, if you get 23 of these, you are a "genius". Only 2 MENSA members achieved full marks. See how well you can do.

24 H in a D
26 L of the A
7 D of the W
7 W of the W
12 S of the Z
66 B of the B
52 C in a P (WJs)
13 S in the USF
18 H on a G C
39 B of the O T
5 T on a F
90 D in a R A
3 B M (S H T R)
32 is the T in D F at which W F
15 P in a R T
3 W on a T
100 C in a R
11 P in a F (S) T
12 M in a Y
13=UFS
8 T on a O
29 D in F in a L Y
27 B in the N T
365 D in a Y
13 L in a B D
52 W in a Y
9 L of a C
60 M in a H
23 P of C in the H B
64 S on a C B
9 P in S A
6 B to an O in C
1000 Y in a M
15 M on a D M C

Ontario Athletes: Good News

2006-01-11T13:34:00.000-05:00

They say the lottery is a tax on people who are mathematically challenged. I am happy to report that in Ontario, you now have options! A new lottery was announced today that will help amateur athletes with funding needed to compete at the national and international level. I hope Ontarians see this as I do: a win-win. Even if you lose, someone gets the chance to win--and I am not talking about a jackpot.

Ministry of Health Promotion News Release

Sign Me Up!!

2006-01-06T12:18:00.000-05:00

Through my travels today in the land of internet, I came across this. Basically, it details everything you need to know about their upcoming flights--and its not what you think; its Out of this world!

Adam in the News II

2006-01-05T17:00:00.000-05:00

This from the local Oshawa paper....

Adam Jobse

Oshawa Green Party candidate

Issue: Auto industry

Green Party candidate Adam Jobse said the biggest local issue is the recent announcement of job cuts at GM, and praised the Beacon Project as one of the factors that could help mitigate damage.

"The auto industry is like any other industry -- every individual company needs to remain competitive or it won't survive. The leadership at GM has failed to keep the company competitive and unfortunately it's the labourers here who will take the fall for them," he said.

"Jack Layton and the NDP have sided with management in attempting to use Japan and South Korea as scapegoats. Their argument sounds good until you consider that GM builds the Chevy Optra in South Korea, and then sells them in Japan."

Mr. Jobse said it is key to address unfair trade practices that allow foreign cars to be sold in Canada, but limit the number of locally manufactured vehicles that can be sold in some overseas markets.

He said the Green Party will ensure that when Canada trades with other countries, this country's vision of a just and sustainable society is shared.

"This is known as fair trade," Mr. Jobse explained. "During this election campaign you'll also hear Jack and Sid spit out this term. The difference is, I understand it."

Issue: Government accountability

Mr. Jobse said lack of trust in politicians is a problem that affects voters in Oshawa and across the country, noting that the Green Party plans to fix the system by introducing proportional representation.

"Of all the developed countries there are only three that are not using proportional representation -- the United States, Britain and Canada," he said. "It's a global movement that we're not a part of and we should be."

Adam in the News

2006-01-05T16:49:00.000-05:00

Although not invited to "official" all-candidates debates, Adam did get a seat at this one held at the CAW in Oshawa. The first article shows a picture of Adam with the other candidates and the second comes from the Star.

Candidates keep it clean at CAW debate
durhamregion.com - Jan 4, 2006

The Toronto Star: Auto Plans on Centre Stage

Remember the Berenstein Bears?

2006-01-05T15:31:00.000-05:00

I am a child of the 80s and some of my first experiences reading were with the Berenstein Bears. They had all kinds of helpful life lessons such as "get along with your siblings", "share the good things in life (like candy, if I remember correctly)", "always tell the truth", "what to do when you find someone's wallet" and so on.
Honestly, and sadly, I think childhood is over--and not just for me--if this is any indication.

"When an increase in rudeness and aggressive behavior is noticed at Bear Country School, teachers and parents decide that something must be done."

Today, in Toronto, Premier McGuinty made an announcement to help with progress on a very dark chapter of Ontario's history. The province has promised more police officers immediately for Toronto; more OPP officers to be assigned immediately to special weapons taskforces for the province; 31 new gun-smart prosecutors to devote themselves to putting those apprehended behind bars; and the Premier has appealed to the 4 political party leaders to implement higher minimum sentencing, reverse onus bail legislation, and tougher laws on guns.

The Premier stresses that this announcement is in no way a solution.

The problem is so tangled that there is no one solution available. Just thinking about it is overwhelming.

There are other cities in the world who think little of Toronto's decline. The shootings here are still a fraction of what they are in infamous American cities for example. Or what about what someone in Iraq live through each day? Just yesterday, the Toronto Star reported a school master beheaded in front of his wife and children by Taliban extremists.

But you know what? This is Toronto. This is Canada. And people just don't shoot people here. I often think back to Michael Moore's Bowling for Columbine. I remember the Canadian scenes where he visits Windsor and Toronto and folks didn't even lock their doors. He claimed that of the single digit gun crimes in Canada each year, most happened with American guns in the hands of visiting Americans. I think back to those scenes and I am embarrassed. Last year, 52 were killed in Toronto with guns alone. That doesn't even cover other seemingly random acts of violence, nor those injured.

So what has changed since Bowling for Columbine? Why are Torontonians (and Canadians) shooting each other?

Drugs? Gang warfare? Social status? Someone should ask those apprehended perhaps. Maybe with the right questions, the answers could start to appear.

I long for the days when I could look at a person on the street and not wonder where their gun is hiding.

More News from the Oshawa Green Campaign

2006-01-05T15:26:00.000-05:00

Jobse speaks his mind on the exclusion of the Green Party from national and local debates.
FYI, if you feel the Green Party should be included in the debates, they have a petition on their website.

A black week for the Greens
durhamregion.com - Dec 20, 2005

Happy New Year

2006-01-04T13:28:00.000-05:00

I hope everyone enjoyed safe and happy holidays. Some weren't so fortunate in this fair city, and we mustn't forget them. More on that later.
Personally, my holidays were enjoyable, however not very restful. There was much eating and visiting to be done. And of course, I had to keep up with my training. Even so, it appears I have added an extra 5 pounds but I am calling that muscle.
Highlights included some family time augmented by far too much wine at christmas dinner. The next christmas dinner with family in St. Catharines also featured too many beverages but we were much better behaved than at home. The third and final christmas dinner in Pickering stuck with tradition and all 22 in attendance left satisfied.
New Year's passed without too much excitement. I foolishly agreed to help a friend move out of her 4th floor apartment in a house with narrow stairways and no elevator on a snowy day. There was a box spring involved as well as an irate and totally unreasonable landlord hovering about. Not the best of times, but despite my complaining, I was happy to help. We were rewarded with pizza, and let me tell you, after all that work, it never tasted so good. Since I wore myself out that afternoon, the evening ended up being a little bit of a non-event. I had confirmed mine and Jerome's attendance at a friend's house party but was determined to nap for a bit before we went. I woke up from my nap and thought maybe I should just go back to sleep--but then felt obligated to show up since it is New Year's and all that jazz. I made it until 11:30 and then I just had to leave. The New Year came in while Jerome and I were de-boarding the subway. Not very glamourous. Not even any champagne involved.
The next day, I slept in for the first time in what feels like ages. That was better than any party or champagne. Then all I did was play x-box in my pajamas.
Later that evening, we dined with Jerome's folks and brother. A very nice meal notably "spicey" free, for my benefit. I am a big suck when it comes to the hot stuff. They are the opposite.
On our last day of holidays, we took Marco, of Maastricht fame, to see the great Niagara Falls. It was cold, wet and miserable, but somehow still a good time. I was surprised at how many tourists were there even at this time of year with no maid of the mist, no journey behind the falls etc etc. We certainly were not alone.
And now, back to the grind!

2005-12-16T09:53:00.000-05:00

Look what I found on the profiles page of the Green Party Website. Looking good Adam. I wish you all the best!

VOTE FOR JOBSE

Give 'em the boot Bingo!

2005-12-13T17:01:00.000-05:00

Click on the NDP Logo for a fun game of bingo that anyone, no matter your political leaning, can enjoy on the debates this Friday.

The debate will begin at 8pm so have your bingo dabbers ready!

One Red Paperclip

2005-12-09T15:47:00.000-05:00

I was reading the CBC online and came across the story of a man trying to trade a red paperclip (the very one pictured above) for a house. How could I not open it? And I am glad I did. It was a nice story. You can read more from the source at his blog.

You might be a 'roadie' if....

2005-12-09T09:57:00.000-05:00

You know you're an addicted roadie when . . .

. . . your surgeon says you need a heart valve replacement and you insist on presta.

. . . you find nothing disgusting about discussing the connection between hydration and urine color.

. . . you empathize with roadkill.

. . . you take your bike when shopping for a motor vehicle, just to make sure it'll fit inside.

. . . good cycling roads are the main thing that matters when hunting for a new house.

. . . you view crashes as an opportunity to upgrade components.

. . . you say "On your left!" when walking around another pedestrian.

. . . dessert is the first thing you order when eating out.

. . . you smile at someone, who informs you that you have bugs in your teeth.

--Thanks Iain!

What will they think of next?!

2005-12-08T13:22:00.000-05:00

Artwork by your you-est of you-s. And All-Canadian too. Wow. Where do I spit?

**UPDATE: Apparently, sometime between when I originally posted this and today, the site became password protected. It was an online order-brochure for artwork derived from your own DNA. For those truly interested, a quick search on google yields many results for other DNA artwork. You should see what's out there: everything from portraits to jewellery and stemware.

Oshawa: Vote GREEN

2005-12-07T11:55:00.000-05:00

Congratulations to an old friend Adam Jobse on his candidacy for the Green Party of Canada in the current Federal election. It takes a lot of guts to put your name on an election ballot. I haven't been able to find much on his activities in the riding of Oshawa, but I will be watching. So far, there is only this from the Durham Region News.

Candidates ready for a close three-way race in Oshawa
Frontrunners separated by a few hundred votes in 2004
Nov 24, 2005
By Jillian Follert

OSHAWA -- Voters in the Oshawa riding will see familiar names
on the ballot in the upcoming election, as the three frontrunners from the June 2004 race have all thrown their hats in the ring for another run at the federal
seat.

Incumbent Conservative MP Colin Carrie will be running against Oshawa Councillor Louise Parkes for the Liberal party, CUPE President Sid Ryan for the NDP and a new face for the Green Party, Adam Jobse.
With only a few hundred votes separating the Liberal, NDP and Conservative candidates in the previous showdown, this is expected to be one the country's tightest and most interesting
three-way races.

MP Carrie is a chiropractor and co-owner of Lakeridge
Chiropractic and Wellness Clinic. He helped re-elect Oshawa MPP Jerry Ouelette in 2003 and is also an executive member of the Durham Chiropractic Society. Mr. Carrie is married with three children.
Ms. Parkes is currently serving her second term as municipal councillor for Wards 5 and 6. She has been the City's deputy mayor and sits as chairman of the development services committee and a member of audit, budget and corporate services committee. Ms. Parkes is also active with the Rotary Club of Oshawa and is director of the Oshawa Senior
Citizens' Centre and the Robert McLaughlin Gallery. She is married to Darryl Sherman, a lawyer and owner of Wilson Furniture in Oshawa.

Mr. Ryan is president of the Canadian Union of Public Employees (CUPE) and has been a union activist for 30 years. A staunch NDP supporter, he has worked for the party in
every election since arriving in Canada from Ireland in 1975. In addition to serving as president and canvassing manager for the NDP Durham Central Riding Association, he ran as the NDP candidate for Oshawa in the last provincial election. Mr. Ryan has lived in Durham Region for more than 20 years, and is
married with three daughters.

Biographical information for Green Party candidate Adam Jobse was not immediately available, as he was only recently appointed by the Oshawa riding association.

In the 2004 election, Mr. Carrie won his seat with 15,815 votes, followed closely by Sid Ryan with 15,325 and Louise Parkes with 14,510. Green Party candidate Liisa Whalley took 1,850.

According to Elections Canada, the Oshawa riding has a population of 113,662 and encompasses the area south and east of a line that commences at the King Street West city limit, and runs east to Oshawa Creek, north to Rossland Road, east to Simcoe Street North, north to Winchester Road and east to the Oshawa City limit.

Merry Elexmas!

2005-11-30T09:00:00.000-05:00

I took this from the Rick Mercer Report webpage. also featured, Canada's best shed. Maybe one of these days I'll actually get around to watching the show!

171 yes 133 no

2005-11-29T10:01:00.000-05:00

The government has fallen in an historic vote of non confidence. Today we are in a federal election and it promises to be an entertaining 8 (!!) weeks. Although not determined officially until the Prime Minister meets with the Governor General later today, the most popular E-day put forward has been January 23rd, with a short break at christmas. I do not envy the volunteers out canvassing in January.
The vote of non confidence has been in direct relation to the Gomery Report released recently which "clears" Paul Martin of any wrong doing while putting most of the blame on past Prime Minister Jean Chretien. I hope Canadians are paying attention for this one. It will be even more difficult than usual to make an educated decision on which direction to cast your vote. If they bother to vote at all.

Here is what Warren Kinsella had to say on the topic. I think I agree.

Can a political party win by
losing?

In the election campaign that effectively begins
today, that is the question many Liberals are asking themselves. And, in quiet
moments, many of them are concluding that losing power – not for a long time,
but long enough – would be a good thing.
As a former senior Liberal cabinet
minister told me just last week: “We need renewal. We need new people, we need
new ideas, and we need the kind of things that can only come with some time in
the penalty box. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but we need to lose.”
It is
not an exaggeration to say that the Liberal Party of Canada is broken. Beset by
a paucity of ideas and energy, struggling with mounting debt and scandals, riven
by infighting and division, despairing of an ineffective cabinet and a dithering
leader, the formerly great party of Pearson and Trudeau and Chrétien is great no
more. Its soul is lost.
No better recent example of this can be found than in
the sad drama that unfolded in the past few days in the Toronto riding of
Etobicoke-Lakeshore. For more than a decade, the riding had been ably
represented by Jean Augustine – an honest, respected woman of colour who would
have easily won re-election in 2006. But last week, as Ms. Augustine cried in
the national Liberal caucus, disbelieving Members of Parliament learned that she
was “stepping aside.” Having endured nearly two years of bullying by Paul
Martin’s aides, few believed that Ms. Augustine was doing so willingly.
This
week, Liberals in Etobicoke-Lakeshore witnessed the astonishing spectacle of
hard-working local Grits being excluded from the process – literally denied
entry to party headquarters, whilst Mr. Martin’s minions inside ignored their
pleas to open the doors. And, shortly thereafter, the locked-out Liberals
learned in the media that Ms. Augustine’s successor had already been decided – a
white man and foreign resident named Michael Ignatieff.
The Globe and Mail
and a few members of Toronto’s brie-and-chardonnay chattering classes have been
championing Mr. Ignatieff for many months, now, talking him up as a successor to
Mr. Martin. Despite the fact that Mr. Ignatieff has not lived in Canada for more
than two decades – despite the fact he supports George W. Bush’s illegal war in
Iraq, opposition to which remains one of Jean Chrétien’s most popular legacies –
Mr. Martin and his bunkered circle of advisors were undeterred.
Mr.
Ignatieff, a Harvard University professor and author, arguably possesses an
impressive curriculum vitae, as do many of the other rumoured aspirants to the
Liberal Party crown – among them former New Brunswick Premier Frank McKenna,
former Minister of Justice Martin Cauchon, or former Ontario Premier (and former
NDP member) Bob Rae. All of these impressive men (no women among them so far,
another telling indicator of the Liberal Party’s state of disrepair) would be
laudable candidates for leadership.
But – and I say this as one who possesses
no enthusiasm whatsoever for Mr. Martin’s leadership nor the insular group
around him – what the Liberal Party needs is much more than a leadership race. A
leadership race will not attract the sorts of things the Liberal Party of Canada
desperately needs: new ideas, new approaches, new people and a new generation of
leadership. What Liberals need is not just a new leader – what Liberals need is
a new Liberal Party.
Power, which Liberals have been privileged to wield
since 1993, tends to have a corrosive effect on political parties. Cabinet
ministers and Parliamentary secretaries start spending more time in Ottawa than
in their ridings; senior staff and Parliamentarians socialize with deputy
ministers instead of local mayors and community leaders; the opinions of
national media columnists take on a greater significance than the voices raised
in town hall meetings and church basements.
In time, Liberals (and, before
that, Conservatives) find that they have lost touch with the people they were
hired to represent. They start to make mistakes, as they did again in
Etobicoke-Lakeshore. They become, in effect, what they were sent to Ottawa to
change.
Thus the Liberal Party of Canada, circa 2005 A.D. Dispirited,
disliked and divided in much of the country – and spared the loss of power only
by the fact that their principal adversaries are (for now) distrusted by many
female voters. Too many Liberals confuse the Conservatives’ continuing inability
to win an election with enthusiasm for the alternative. One day – and one day
soon, I believe – the Conservative Party will attract the support of enough
Canadians, and Liberals will bitterly rue the day they forsook renewal.
Some
Liberals, and all of Paul Martin’s sect, will dismiss all of this as the carping
of an exiled Chrétien-era Liberal, naturally. That is their way. Their
cloistered arrogance – their near-total inability to make out the country that
lies beyond the Parliamentary precinct – led to the loss of Mr. Chrétien’s
majority and, a few weeks hence, will further reduce the dimensions their
listing, listless minority government. Their opinion, at long last, counts for
nothing.
For the rest of us, however – for a majority of Canadians and, I
believe, for a silent number of traditional Liberals – we know that an election
loss would be a good thing. For the country, and for a once-great political
party, too.

Outta the way!

2005-11-25T11:21:00.000-05:00

This, and other photoshop hilarities can be found at Rick Mercer's blog.
Rat tat tat...Go Jean go!